Saturday, February 25, 2006
They say one might fall and the other will stand.And one might give where the other won't bend.The night is as bright as the sun.I'm never gonna know.Never gonna look back.Never gonna know where we would have ended up at.The end has only begun.Well the day.Tonight feels like a million miles away.And these times just won't change.Life just stays the same.I'd give anything to see the light of day.What you doNo one can decide it's up to you.And who you are is what you choose.These times when the world falls apart.Make us who we are.= i have been pondering. i don't know wher ei am heading to. the mail is going to mailed on mondey for the navy NSS thang. and i don't think that i am going to regret anytime soon. this is something i think i ought to get done for myself. its time to be selfish. since i only have to think of myself. i might as well get something done for it.am i right to say that ??? oh wells. another thing. i am at my witts end. andi don't know why am i even thinking about the end result. as in ... why the fark am i minipulation all the evidences that are so oblivious to me. everything is so blatant and so clear. why can't i just accept it. it was my fault in the very begining. why regret now. is it too late. or is it cause you never really gave up in the very first place ??? cause i know that throughout some joy ride that i took , i never quite did give up and never quite did ... stop contact with her. why. i can't answer to you. at least not now. i can't think. don't ask. then comes what i want to do in my life. i picture marrying her. yeah rite. thinking that this would come out of my mouth. i am thinking. but then again ... i don't even think tha ti can ge ther back. so let's just not go there. i WILL be going to the navy. after which ... i end my stupid bond and everything ... i am heading to monash. my degree is still awaiting for me.wait. and another thing. i am going to be swimming. heh. can't wait for the competition. then ... yeah. tennis is what my mother wants me to get back into doing. tinking about it. mah ah bung is in tennis. so ... at least i got a partner !!! wee ... got company. =)) yup. guess ... i am just going to let the other thoughts just linger. and not set. just like how they always should have. yupp.kaye\.- i was listening to the radio.they played 'only hope'.the flash back are back. i could only think of you.the whole day. i daren't say. - its you.
memories locked at Saturday, February 25, 2006
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
That I love you.I have loved you all along.And I miss you.Been far away for far too long.I keep dreaming you'll be with me.and you'll never go.Stop breathing if.I don't see you anymore.On my knees, I'll ask.Last chance for one last dance.'Cause with you, I'd withstand.All of hell to hold your hand.I'd give it allI'd give for us.Give anything but I won't give up.'Cause you know,you know, you know.So far away.Been far away for far too long.So far away.Been far away for far too long.But you know, you know, you know.I wanted.I wanted you to stay.'Cause I needed.I need to hear you say.That I love youI have loved you all along.And I forgive you.For being away for far too long.So keep breathing.'Cause I'm not leaving.Hold on to me and, never let me go.=okie. i just got back from bball. rather after bathing. heh. damn fun. its been like bball every single day since like ... monday ??? and i am no complaining. heh. cause its fun and i get to exercise more. who can say that it is not a good thing man. ha ha. i love bball. cause somehow or another i can still aim and fire. wee ... heh. anyways ... nothing much has been happening to me. meeting bro and dee tmr. and i think tiff and elton as well. wee ... can't wait. i miss them tons man. haven't seen them in years i swear. been busy with dumb school stuff and sleep. ha ha. lol.oh wells. there is nothing much to get done. i can't wait for my class's chalet next month. wee ... its going to be fun. girls one room and the guys another. wee ... heh. =)) i can't complain cause i think its for the better. ... long story. ha. can't wait. then i can finally get the long awaited tan. ha.then yeah. classmates are making fun of me !!! i am not a delivery boy. ... i so don't like that name man. anything is better then that. *swears in hokkien. ha.another puzzling thing. i just don't get it. what did i do this time. how ever the fark do i deserve such shit from. like ... wtf ??? i am a much better and happier person. am i to blame ??? why do this to me. i just don't get it. i could do the same. but i won't. its childish. very childish. wait ... why am i even bothered.bongs off.kaye.\- i loved you more then you'd ever know.and i still am waiting. for you.to come back. i hope.
memories locked at Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Monday, February 20, 2006
You and meA little differentThough we tried to stay the same.It never leavesAnd when it changes it is still a waiting game.I wait for a lonely breath.I wait to surface from this death.Wait for the light to come.And take away these images I get.In my head.More than ever.I need to feel you.More than ever.I see the real you.You are me.A worst disaster would be waking up alone.Now we're freeWe're drifting out.Like all the ones we didn't know.I wait for a silent tearI wait for things to disappear.Wait for the ground to stop moving underneath my only fear.If I lose you .I don't know.More than ever.I need to feel you.It's all around.More than ever.I see the real you.And it surrounds.Everything, everything.We've had.Out of sight out of mind.Given that.What I see when I dream.=i am trying to tell myself to wake up of this dream that i have. fantasy. is not where i want to be.
memories locked at Monday, February 20, 2006
Sunday, February 19, 2006
When I fall asleep ,
Only In hopes of dreaming.
Everything would be like it was before.
But nights like this ,
Are slowly fading.
Disappear , as reality is crashing to the floor.
After all this time.
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here.
When my love for you is blind.
When I couldn't make you see it.
Couldn't make you see it.
That I loved you loved you more.
Then you will ever know.
When part of me died.
When I let you …
Down.= oh my gawd. i am in class. and i am freezing. don't get me wrong. i am not sick or that i forgot to bring my jacket. its cause ... i am sweating like a farking pig. and the reason is cause ... kaye went to play basketball. oh yes. EXERCISE. not that i am complaining. it was a damn good game. for real man. it was a good good GAME.played with my classmates. 12 in all. 6 on 6. the best game after like 2 years of not playing basketball. wee ... i am a happy bugger. heh. can't wait to play more man. heh heh heh. really. it is that good. =)) ha ha. i can't wait for tmr. its the next game. heh. gawd. anyways ... harbour front has been booming with business. and i can't stop thinking of wanting to join the navy. thinking if i should and all. but frankly ... i don't know ...thinking. thinking.i know grams is going to miss me if i do. heh. and ... yes. but the benefits are so much more !! i am get a doggie bitch. or a bastard. heh. no ??? gawd damn it. anyways ... i am off ta get my hair done and everything. =))next ball game.loves.kaye.- i don't want the dreams to ever end. they are the reason for my rest.
memories locked at Sunday, February 19, 2006
Thursday, February 16, 2006
If you knew what I knew.You wouldn't say what you said. (say what you said)If you knew what I knew.We'd be together instead.Of you breaking my heart. (breaking my heart)Over things that aren't true.My lady yesIf you knew what I knew.Time passes by.The only tears I cry.Are filled with disillusion and fears I have inside.Like a lost soulI feel like I'm all alone. (all alone)If only I could feel your pain.Within your heart of stone.= okie. here goes nothing. geralyne kaye one su teng did not go to school today. instead she went on a marathon run. wee. ran for like an hour plus. ran to plaza singapura then back. record. =)) happy happy.went to the doctors early in the morning to get an MC. cause ... i am suffering from acute gastric. so says my indian doctor. (yes he is the only indian besides the prata man i dunt discriminate. ha.) anyways ... yes. and i am suffering from low blood pressure and GID. WHAT MORE. WHAT MORE I SAY !!! and not forgetting ... he gave me more HAPPY PILLS. =)) to add on to my whole load of medical syndroms , i have migrains that make up their own disco parlors in my head. oh yes. it is that bad. and the long lasting ... asthma. wee.and the newest news. if my migrane still doesn't cure ... i have to get an x-ray done. and daddy elephant will kill bunny kaye here. for sure. and so will mummy cow. *swears in hokkien. oh yes. pills and x-rays are going to take over my life if i don't get better. *gulps. oh wells.i am a very sick bunny. =)) trust me when i say that. really. say no ??? heading back to school tmr. and i can't wait. why ... ain't going to spill.outt.kaye\. - with all the love in the world.with one last breathe.with one last chance.i still do.
memories locked at Thursday, February 16, 2006
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
i guess.that there is no turning back.is there.i guess.that there is no second chances.is there.i guess.that there is only me now.is there.where were you when i needed you the most. = frankly , i am pissed. cause i was supposed to change my phone yesterday but then due to certain ... stuff then i could not get it changed. i am farking pissed. damn it man. gosh. oh wells. i am still going to get it changed. its just ... going to take a little more time then i expected.valentine's day is next week. and i am back to baking. for once in like a farking long time. i have not been baking since god knows when. ha. its brownies. =)) baking it for my class mates. wee. then off to KTV with all the arses in class. can't wait to head home later. i feel like sleeping. and i can't get enough of it. its wednesday. MID WEEK. CLUBBING. LADIES NIGHT. ha ha. wee ... then have the weekly thursday hangover. *tians. ha ha. let's just see about the endless dreams.heads off.kaye\. - how can i pretend that i don't love you still.
memories locked at Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Monday, February 06, 2006
a nice place.my ambition to be a lecturer.friends as my company.a few canines.a huge fish tank in the house.a car.a life.with you. = let's see. i so should have not come to school today. wasted my time in school. BIG TIME. i mean like the science problems are so boring. and i can hardly handle everything at one go. cause its either too detailed or just too dry to even get anything done. ha ha. i swear.today is NEW HAND PHONE DAY. ha ha. i am getting myself a new phone. why and i how don't ask. ha ha. i don't print money. so ... yeah. PHONE PHONE PHONE !!! the more i look at the one that i have now ... the more i am afraid ... the more i start thinking. so ... EVERYTHING HAS GOT TO BE NEW. ha. that is my theory. ha ha. =)) heads off.kaye\.- i can't ask you to give ; what you already gave.
memories locked at Monday, February 06, 2006
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Once again. I need to get something or rather, someone to help me kill the hideous sight and sounds of the late nights. And not forgetting the horrid sight and awaiting of something to happen. I hate that kind of feeling. It sucks. The more you hate it. The more you want to avoid it. Then the more it comes back to you. With more then you can handle in the very first place. I think I am getting out of it. I think I am. Rather hope so much that I am. But the thoughts of her still fill my mind like no one's business every single break of day. It comes and never fails to stay for awhile. Then fades into the life of the hustle and bustle of the city ...Then back again it comes with a vengeance. = i feel like crawling into the darkened room and stay there till i find myself ; again. I don't know man. I can't get this right. And i hate myself for being such a jack arse. this sucks. for real ; i wished i never felt like this. for fake ; i wished nothing of this sort ever took place. damn.oh wells. went clubbing. and i am going to club again next wed i think. heh. v'dae for me this year is to rest so that the day after i got the energy. ha ha. freaking nonsense. and then head to school with the weekly thrusday hang over. ha ha. and for fark ... thursdays are the worst days. cause ... its computing. the worst of the whole farking lot. *swears. can't wait till later ... heading out with jasmine and esther. woot. and i am going to buy the 10 million dollar toto draw ticket !!! either today or tmr. damn. i need to get the ticket. i feel farking lucky this year man. =)) somehow that it. damn.tomorrow i am FINALLY getting my farking phone changed. can't wait. to VS3. the camera's damn good man. ha ha. and this is going to be the fist phone i pay ... ENTIRELY BY MYSELF. yesh. i am a proud muther farker. heh heh. the dreams have yet to end its unending rampage on me. signing outt. woot.\kaye. - i like the way you wanted me. every night. the past never awaits to take its taunting.
memories locked at Sunday, February 05, 2006
Thursday, February 02, 2006
The visions never stop.
The taunting-s never stop to come at full blows.
The lights keep getting dimmer.
The will never budges.
The hope still remains amidst the horizon of death.
A wonder if he would stand up tall.
Just like how he used to.
Back then.
Before the wall of his whole life came crashing down.
The lies , just like any others.
Came down like the millions of other similar raindrops.
The ones your tears used to portray.
The ones he foolishly believed with every promise.
She made empty.
A simple message.
Gone all wrong.
Beneath the strong exterior of will power and determination.
Lies beneath the most vulnerable heart the world has yet to see.
With one last breathe.
'I still love you.'= this is getting interesting. i have been dreaming about and for the same person for about ... 5 or is it 6 days now. and yes it is in a row. how interesting can that get. the best part is ... i can remember and the dream was so real. ... i just wonder however i got to dream of such stuff in this very manner. its delerious. i swear it is. VERY.whichever it is. i have been clubbing and drinking. more then i think that i should. but then ... considering that it IS CNY. its more reason to celebrate and drink drink drink. ha ha. =)) the more alcohol the merrier. just give me a bucket to go along. just in case. ha ha. then again ... i have an alcohol warning. ha ha. oh wells. i need to go and get so many things. which most of the clothes part i have gotten. i now need a bag and new specs. ... my specs are NOT WORKING NO MORE. *swearsin hokkien. ha ha. i love clubbing with the -ing's. ha ha.love ya guys.kaye\.- how can i stand here , and not be moved by you.
memories locked at Thursday, February 02, 2006