Thursday, March 30, 2006
'When will you be mine again.'
As I watch the rain droplets fall.
None of us have a clue to where the future might lead us both.
She watched me climb from the darkest slumbers.
As a helpless wreck , she was my hope.
And to let her go , I know it was my lost.
I wish I can say this to her.
Chorus -
You are all I need.
Miss the times when you were mine.
I'd be praying every step till you are mine.
Even though it breaks my heart to know , we are no longer one.
I love you.
Too much to make you stay.
Baby fly away.
The rain never seems to end and ,
The darkness keeps staying on.
I wished you would come back.
Cause It is in
Your arms I belong.
I never wanted to hurt you this way.
Please tell me it isn't too late.
I don't want to make a second mistake.
I need you back in my life.
EVENT FULL DAY. I have been thinking , [Yes, I do use my brain at times.] why. Just why. No other question. Just WHY. There are so many things that I wonder if in this life time, would I get right. Cause , there is and there are so many questions in this world, that so many people cannot answer. Cannot apprehend and don't have the chance to get to know what. To fully understand why.
Whichever the case is. Today is EVENTFUL. =)) There are ups and downs. And I am just glad to know that when there is a down person whom I know , friends are always there with a helping hand at just one call. I love you guys a hell lot. *muacks.
Okie. Headed down town with heather and voo. Voo had her hair done today. My voo is now vivaciously sexy and stunning. LIKE ALWAYS. Wee. Had snacks at spin's. met bro and krys. Then off we went to wisma and taka. I TELL YOU … HEATHER IS ONE INTERESTING DARLING.
I am get into a size 12. YES. And it is very much loose. thanks. And the rest is going to be a private joke. Ling - I swear I will not shrink anymore. Ha ha. Wee.
Then I met , a now VERY egoistically inclined person. I refuse to devour her name. For specific reasons which I do not wish to indulge in. Yup yup. Anyways , I lost my land yard and my lil cute voodoo cause of this very mysterious PERSON. Cause she kept pulling it. Cause she thought that , that would be a very cute thing to do. HA.
IT IS NOT.
Slacked around town for awhile , food and all. Ha ha. COOKIE MONSTER SHOULD HAVE A SHOW OFF WITH HER. I swear , hands down. She will be the ultimate winner. No doubt about it man. For real.
Anyways , went to pick my mother up with her , sent my mother to the bus stop … Then headed to the bus stop with mysterious person. Ha ha. After she got onto the bus , I got onto mine. Was supposedly on the way home … TILL EMERGENCY CALL CAME. Wee …
Headed down to ah hue's place with dee. The timing was perfect, I tell you. Heh. Headed down in a cab. HUE WE LOVE YOU. You better know we do. Hell yes. Something happened. I just hope that she knows that we are always there for her.
To Hue - IF I CAN GET OUT OF THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF HELL. SO CAN YOU. =))
Yup yup. Hung around her place till 10 plus then went back with dee. We had KFC. Ha ha. New tip people. Lays and KFC's MASHED POTATOES ARE WONDERFUL. Ha ha. Bro invented it. Heh.
I still love my hair. And everything about it.
Kaye\.
Misery has made me her god son.
memories locked at Thursday, March 30, 2006
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
I think that I have grown up enough to know and to abhor this sentence 'everything happens for a reason'. There are so many things where by I can show you as an example , but I am not going to dwell into it too much. Before I start my stupid breaking down of my brain and my senses all over again.
Something happened last night. And I am still flipping out over the whole god damned thing. I don't know why and I am still wondering why am I flipping out. But I am. *Wenny … I know how you feel. TRUST ME. * sighs in frustration.
Went out with Heather , Voo and Angel today. Had breakfast at mac's. And guess what … I went to a barber to get my sides shaved off. Wee … Its interesting. And what is more is that , I had a bloody audience in the barber shop. Ha ha. It was practically a SHOW !!! Heather was fully equipped with her Digital Camera , Angel was in the mood and Voo was shooting darts at me for wanting to get my hair cut at a BARBER SHOP. =)) What more can I even say … Now can I. I am so going to faint. I swear.
Oh wells. I am very very happy with my hair. And guess what , when I went home and decided to want to get a rest on my very comfy bed … The drilling of my neighbour's house started its endless ranting till like 5 plus in the afternoon. I almost wanted to barge up and lounge a complaint. But guess what , they had issued or rather gave each house in the whole block that they are undergoing renovation and they ask for OUR CONSIDERATION and they apologize.
NOW TELL ME. How to go against these type of PEOPLE WHO TAKE PRECAUTION ; OF PEOPLE LIKE ME ALL THE WAY !!! *glares.
Oh wells. After around … An hour of wandering around the house like a wandering zombie , I went to get ready to meet my mummy and my sister. We headed down to marina square. AGAIN. Yes. This time we went to cartel for dinner. Heh. I swear … If you bring my sister and my mother for buffet , the restraunt better beware of their enormously huge eating habits.
The amount of food that they put into their system is so very appalling. *faints.
With one last note … *exclaims. I LOVE MY HAIR.
I end my entry for the day.
Kaye\.
I love you too much to make you stay.
Baby fly away.
memories locked at Tuesday, March 28, 2006
I'm sorry that I hurt you.
I took for granted all you gave so freely to me.
I pray that it is not too late.
To save you from a broken heart.
To promise you.
I will make a brand new start.
Believe me , when I say.
You know I am far from perfect.
Like a child that needs a guiding hand.
Can you stay here with me???
I finally understand.
You've always been the missing part.
Complete the jigsaw puzzle of my heart.
Please hear me , when I say.
Please , let me hear your voice again.
Let me hear you say.
Your love will never end.
That whatever it takes , you'd be there.
Believe me when I say.
I am here to declare that Corrine May is the best singer in my life at the present moment. And yes she stands with Lifehouse , Goo Goo Dolls , Hale and Three Doors Down. Heh.
I cried last night just listening to it. Without even realizing that I actually did. Which is some what of a 'Whoa' thing. The lyrics and the tune hit me so hard , I didn't know how it made so much sense at that very moment , but it did. And , its something I don't think anyone would understand. Until they get the experience first hand. That kinda thing.
Oh wells. Life hasn't been treating me very well. But I ain't complaining. Cause, I think that in order to know what is joy ; what is happiness ; what is the true heartfelt meaning of being on top of the moon … You first have to understand and know what it feels like to be at the direct end of the other side of the rainbow.
Say yes ???
Whether or not you stand on the same side of philosophy as me , it isn't important. Cause one thing is for sure , everyone has his or her own stand on certain things that might not appeal or apply to me or you. But for that person , perfect sense is being made. Get the theory ???
There is so much to be said , and yet when I have the perfect timing. When I have the perfect chance , the words don't come out. No. I am not your idiot. I am a perpetual fool to be exact. Cause I never really did think before I act. Like what is new man. Wee. Till November the 4th.
I just hope that everything about her is still the same. Cause somehow I think that it isn't. I don't know how to put it but , everything about her is quite different now. I just hope I am not the one being taken for a game or a joy ride. Cause I don't think I can take another blow. Not ever. I pray she hasn't turned into something I don't recognize anymore. I hope its still not too late. Somehow.
Anyways , went to suntec city yesterday with my parents and my sister. I need to get a tennis racket. Mummy says to get a cheaper one to whack around with then think about getting the second racket only when I am used to NOT thrashing my racket around. Heh.
Oh … When we were at Suntec , I discovered that MARINA SQUARE is the place to be. Its uber nice and I saw so many things that I am already thinking of getting. Heh. Cause , I saw this perfectly nice black sports jacket from ebase - something. [ Yes. They do have a guys boutique. Which is not as …*coughs. Auntie as the girls. Thanktheheavens.] Anyways , its being taken into consideration. Its so nice. I can't stop thinking about it at the moment. =)) wee.
I need to get my hair cut at the present moment. Shave the sides. Cause I need to keep the rest long. …
Kaye\.
There is only so much that I can do.
What matters is that I am trying.
I hope.
memories locked at Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Friday, March 24, 2006
i am currently very tired from legs down. reasons which point to my very eventful afternoon with bro and dee !!! =)) its a friday thing and i love going out with them. they make the week's stress mroe bear - able. in a certain sense that is. and on the other hand ... i get to perk up a little here and there.today is retail therapy day. i didn't intend to buy anything in the first place. cause i am saving up for my veryexpensivetennisracket. ha. which by the way costs more then ... maybe ... YOUR PHONE !!! heh. and i mean .... 300 bucks and above. thankyouverymuch.anyways , we went to bugis for lunch. met bro. after i went to stc with dee to collect my sister's report book. heh. before i carry on ... i met miss p !!! =)) damn i missed her like ... fark and i met mrs chu as well. actually to be frank ... i miss the both of them tons. had a lil chit chat then off we went. heh. (p.s - I HATE MRS KONG AND IF I AM BEING WATCHED ... WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT. THIS IS MY BLOG. MY FREE SPACE TO ; EXPRESS.)either you are with me or against me. heh. anyways ... yup. lunch at yoshi then off ta chee na town. dessert was great. we all felt old. REALLY OLD. walked like a hell lot then decided to head to bugis. which was a very very very bad decision. we bought a hell lotta stuff. bro and i got this ear stick thang. i think its farking hell as cool as ice. then ... dee and bro got similar BUNNY BAGS !!! its cute. yes. but ... ITS A BUNNY !!! oh wells. they seemed happy with it. so ... i don't have much to comment on. heh. anyways ... i got 2 new hand accessories , a new tee and a new shirt. kao. i tell you. 50 can be spent of all these shit okie. and now we are broke till next week.yes. this is how we spennd.kaye\.- i don't want to only know you in my dreams. don't make it.
memories locked at Friday, March 24, 2006
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Memories are the only things that remain after everything ends. Tears begin to fall only because , you mourn either for yourself or that you are too reliant on someone or something that you cannot do without their pressence. Cause you know that somehow everything is just not supposed to be 'right' without that particular person.
But then again on the other hand , you wonder why everything is happening. You loose someone. Then the world starts to tumble right before your eyes. Then everything you thought that you had somehow prepared is no more prepared. Your heart sinks into something so dark. You wonder if you ever see light again. Cause for all you know is that , at the particular moment in time , you are not fit for anything in life. You are not sane enough to see through certain things that make you want to cry every single time.
Every single time that you see something that reminds you of that person. Everything that reminds you of the person , actually are always there … It is just that , that particular person made it stand out form the entire crowd. Which then makes you think that IT IS special.
Everything that happens has an after effect. With the same amount of power.
Maybe it is just me. I think that I am doing pretty fine on my own. I think. Or is it that I am getting used to it all. All this rampage about love. I still don't understand why we always fall for the same thing. Over and over again. kaye\.take me to heaven's end. i beg of you.
memories locked at Sunday, March 19, 2006
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
won't be heading to have the normal format of my entry. don't ask why. i suddenly am dawned upon that certain and well ... most of the things in life are predestined. - though i do not believe in god. this somehow still applies to me. not tha ti do not believe in a higher being. i very much do. just not convinced that god is THE one. yup yup.anyways, these few days have been ... pretty interesting. was supposed to head down to thumper on tuesday. but it got cancelled. then ... monday, slacked at home the entire day. puzzle fighter training. ha ha. and i had to read my angels and demons. then came tuesday. went to work. headed down town with yu hong. then ... met NINA !!! ha ha. yu hong and i had retail therapy. it makes us happy. and he brought me to have ramen for dinner. nice i got to say. then ... met nina after dinner. hung around. with nothing much to do. i love conversations with her. don't ask why. she makes my mind tingle and THINK. in a more ... inverted manner. =)) wednesday ... aka TODAY. i WENT TO SENTOSA. with the crew. 5 of us. happy like hell. talking was such a joy. got a tann. went till around 3 plus 4. then headed to harbour front. ate pizza and occupied starbucks. LOL. headed off with yu hong to kim seng plaza to supposedly play pool. but we ended up having another round of retail therapy. heh. at WHsmith. i got a tee and he got a shirt. nice one man. then off ta pool and home.i have been thinking. it is not that i cannot wait. it is how long can i wait. not that i am desperate for anyone. i don't exactly need that kinda company. my friends are good. but it would be better to have someone else. in that particular sense would definately be much better. so i don't know. why does everyone search for that perfect someone. is there really such a necessity. that everyone lives and dies for it.is it that necessary. is it. why does everyone want to find that particular someone. is it genetically ONLY-RIGHT. to go find such a thing. or is it just natural mammal behavior ??? if you can dowithout the person before she or he came into your life. why not now. kaye\. - maybe i have given up.how long can i wait.not that i can't. its how long.
memories locked at Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
i loved you so much.telling you i do , is something i have to get done.soon.i am loosing grip of reality.sense of belonging is all in a mess.i don't know what i am sent here on earth for.cause all i know is ...i want to walk down the aisle with you.and i only want you. = today is like the last day of school. for me. though unofficially. i know that i should be getting stuffs done and everything. but i ain't.everything has come to a close. the memories are being kept in a book. whether i still want to keep it , its another matter in all. everything started out on the wrong foot. i tried to make it right , by making it go back on track. but i guess ... it was all meant to be wrong. right from the start.i never loved. some say. but , then ... there are so many things that still haunt me. i close my eyes with her image still lingering some where. nto that i am scared now. it has become a ... normality. how i still live with it. that is a wonder. i don't know how i am going to start everything all over again. for al i know. she is still there. there in my head. haunting and taunting my very existence. kaye\.- i knew i lost everything.when i lost you.
memories locked at Wednesday, March 01, 2006