Wednesday, January 31, 2007
something's been happening at starbucks. yes.
the one at harbour. politics are taking over. and
everyone is getting out of hand. everyone is going over each other's head. and
no one's stopping it. and even if they do ,
it doesn't get settled the way it should be. i don't know if i have the right to say this. but ,
people are seeing things in the wrong light.periodically i would go back to starbucks ,
just to poke my head in to see who is working and what nots. to hear about their lives so that i don't kinda ...
'loose touch'. with those friends that i have made over there.
managers are no more respected. baristas are climbing all over the place. i am not saying ALL. but i am saying ...
a hand full are taking things for granted. which of course ... is not right
and everyone shouldn't get this kinda unfair judgement.people are generally nice. just don't get into their bad books. but just cause you are in their bad books
doesn't mean that you'd actually stay there for eternity. there's always redemption.
make it known that you are worth. and change their mind set.
i just don't get it.
she's generally a very nice person.
she doesn't deserve such crap from people. really she doesn't.
she might be bias. but
she'd treat you nice if you do the same for her.
i know that much.=
sorry doesn't help.not the least bit.kaaye\.- those smiles.what were they.
memories locked at Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
i don't know about you. but for me ,
i realise that each and every person in my life has taught me something. something very important that
books don't state and lab practical sessions won't give. each and every single person i know ; major or little has influenced me SOMEHOW.
in one way or another.lets start with the basics of my life.
- my very disfunctional family. my dad ; my mum ; my grand parents ; my sister ; my aunt.
my dad and mum. to me.
they are important ; yes. but then again on another hand. what they taught me was ;
betrayal between you and your loved one is and was 'normal'. that its
perfectly fine to do so. that
cheating people or conning your own flesh and blood for money was acceptable. that ,
its okay if i squander money over stupid things. cause
somehow i can get money to cover the bills ; keep the roof over our heads ; put food on our table.
they taught me ,
how ugly the world can be. with all the 2 faced people. who backstabb you.
but they are the exact same people that tell you ; they love you.my grandparents.without which , i think that
i would have turned out to be a rotten grape even before i was set to grow. my early years were with my grandparents.
weekday and week ends on long were spent with them. like it or not they were always there.
to attend to my little needs or wants to the best of their abilities. they taught me manners. they taught me integrity. they taught me how to protect myself
against people like my parents who might be more brutal out there.
my sister.she taught me
to smile it off. to take things with more then just a pinch of salt. to just smile it off. bad or good. smile it off.
a new day will come and it would be better. she taught me
to be positive. which i haven't really gotten to.
just yet. my aunt.she taught me
table manners. how to behave. and to think and not be santa claus to my parents. something small
might be small , but it
might be worth more then just that. to put family first ,
morals and ethics held firm no matter what problems we might face. =
secondly ; the family i choose.- my friends.stc ; ting tong's ; etc.
wenny.she taught me to make sure what i was doing had its worth.
in gold or what so ever. she taught me to be
MORE responsible ; rationale ; resistive. cause i am a twit. she taught me
to be strong when ever the going gets tough.
that friends stick by each other.
denyse.she taught me.
life is not a bed of roses. but who says we have to live by that. rules are meant to be broken. she also taught me to
spend wisely. and to
SAVE MONEY !!! cause i know ...
i don't.jenny.she taught me how
not to be affected by things around you. let things go and most probably
they will suffice and work out fine. somehow. they always will.
to be happy go lucky and everything will fall into place. FOR SURE.
ling and wei.oh ... these 2 were there when
i first cried so damn badly in class. when wayne passed. when ... well ... when everything happened. ungalm and all.
they were there. these 2 made me realise
that friends are as important as life in itself. that friends
can be trusted. that i can count on them in case of anything that might happen.
that only through understanding the problem and
hitting our heads on brick walls ;
knowing the pain would we understand what we can and what we cannot do.
esther.she taught me
HOW TO BE AUNTY.
how to always think of the kids that see you as everything that you think you are not. that ... when i go running. i can meet her and gossip and end up crying or what so ever ,
and feel better. that gossiping can really
heal people.=
everyone has taught me something.everyone who's important in my life.
how about you.
kaaye\.- to the things we never understand ;is there the need.
memories locked at Monday, January 29, 2007
Saturday, January 27, 2007
so ... yes.
i am sick. rather ...
i was sick. which is
utterly irritating. i have gastric ; stomach flu and fever. cool bananas eh !?
fuck getting sick. it feels like crap and it makes you want to sleep and never wake up. after eating the medicine
you feel like you are on cloud nine. which would then in turn
make you feel like you want to fuck every single person alive in front of you.
IMAGINE THAT !!!ARGH.
i hate being sick.whichever it was.
i actually kinda thank god i got a girlfriend. who doubles up as ...
my aunty ; my mother ; my grand mother ; my nurse ; my girlfriend ; my gurdian ; my caretaker ; and the list goes on.
i am so dead serious. whichever ... i am not exactly complaining. =))
went to watch sinone's wedding. not bad really. then ... went to spin's. grabbed a drink. went to see the doctor's. who was
so bloody rough.i tell you ...
she was practically stripping me. I AM NOT INTO SM. and she was busy poking my tummy.
thanks all so much man. really.
DAMN.
i am going to read my papers now.
BUAH BYE.nahbeicheebai's.
kaaye\.- i am vulgar ;impulsive and sick.
memories locked at Saturday, January 27, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
HAPPY B'DAE WENNY !!!i love you like no tomorrow.
and you know
i will always be here for you.rain or
shine.summer or
monsoon.i'd always be here.
3/4 americano and latte.
=))
my leng loei. leng zai loves you.
=
beyond those very words you might say.
underneath your beautiful eyes they stay.comes something
so surreal ;the reality sickens the very sight.sometimes you wonder ;
have you done the right thing. than on second thoughts ,
something reassures that very something. then you think ...
'hey , everything is perfect.' but is it really perfect ? is it really that clean , with all the sharp clean edges and everything that you think you have or actually see.
or is it the satin curtain ; the one that covers each and everyone of our scars like brand new. how every single time you think of the person
a smile emerges ;
but yet something is holding you back. you don't even know what.
something is missing and you don't know what is. something is turning.
BUT YOU DON'T even KNOW. you don't know. which is what makes
everything a little more complicated with every single step you take.
something's missing.you know your mood's going crazy. you wonder what it is. then ... figures that 'hey , fuck it. leave it alone. i think its better if i don't think at all.' which is
HALF RIGHT. but ... entirely
WRONG. its going to mould into something so big ; you wonder where the fuck it ever started.
PROCRASTINATION WILL GET NOONE ANYWHERE.are you doing the right thing.have you made the right choice.no one has the right to say , yes ; no.
only you.
kaaye\.- when you feel empty ;you know you're whole.
memories locked at Thursday, January 25, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
i am left with like
3 weeks before like school ends. and
i am so fucking can't wait for it. oh man. the body muscles are
working overdrive and they are getting
so bloody lazy i tell you ...
i am going to class late every single day. not that i am very proud of it. or what so ever. i just ...
I DON'T KNOW !!! argh !!!
HATE SCHOOL.such a fucking drag.
anyways ... as i was saying ...
i have to freaking hell pia the last few days. PRESERVERE !!!
ha ha.
=))
went to vivo. before that.
in the morning i had someone scream into the phone. just to wake me up.
thankyouveryverymuch. NEVER MIND. made my arse down to tampiness. then headed to chinatown with her.
HAD DIM SUM !!! wee ... and as usual.
the food was not finished. what is new man !!! headed to vivo. walked around. watched 'the illusionist'. not bad actually. then er ... we got new slippers !!! ha ha.
NEW SLIPPERS !!! from rip curl. we got
white ones.headed for dinner at this german place. at vivo. not bad. just that ...
everything is so bloody salty. beer was good though. headed home.
and we watched
happy feet. in the middle ; we were either
talking ... taking pics or ... she's just playing with her self and the digital. oh man.
morale of the story : never give a woman. a digital. you're just asking for it.kaaye\.- so when love finally hits ;how do things go.
memories locked at Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Saturday, January 20, 2007
question : do we know what we see.answer : NO.reason to which i say this is very very simple.
people don't cherish what they have. people
always tend to want something more. something
'better'. so as to what they might have claim for.
they always want something 'better'. realised the inverted commers i am using here. whichever it is right ...
people are such.i am.and i bet so are you.maybe its just me.
i don't know. but they don't.
think about it. you want more money ; a better life ; more freedom ; more friends ; more love ; more ; more more. MORE OF EVERYTHING. but why don't we see what we have in front of us.
like ... be contented or something. like ...
why do we always want something more in everything. or something 'better'.
i don't know.
but.
i am contented with my life as of now.i have friends ; who are
all jack arses in their own right. but are my best bet when i need anyone. no matter what the weather might be.
i love them all.i have a gf ; who's on the same frequency as me.
i really think i actually am loving someone. after such a freaking long time.
i have grand parents ; who
fatten me up like a damn pig.
i have a 'life' ;
clubbing ; drinking and a good mannered liver. =))
people should be contented.really.think.
kaaye\.- beyond those lines ;you're the one for me.
memories locked at Saturday, January 20, 2007
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
so we all thought this day would never come.wenny's birthday is coming and
i am not thinking of even giving her a slacky birthday. this will be a good birthday party. one that i hope she will
NOT FORGET. cause yes.
SHE WILL NOT FORGET. and secondly ...
i hope she loves the presents that she is going to get.
dude : this is not
JUST ANOTHER BIRTHDAY. cause this time ...
KAYE'S IN CHARGE !!! which means ... its not something to be very ...
slack-ish about. not like you don't know.
i love this kinda things. makes me happy planning. heh heh. =))
=
secondly ;
whoever knew i would fall back in love.or even sense its humble innocence again.maybe.
just maybe.
this one will bear fruit.i'm tired.
kaaye\.- with each question came an answer ;i can't handle.
memories locked at Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Monday, January 15, 2007
okay ...
its been a million years since i blogged. or so it seemed. i am busy. with everyting this fucking world has to order , from messy business to school ... to get drunk ... to getting
actually everything in this world. short and sharp.
i have a problem today.i hate people who cannot express themselves in good english
for some stupid reason or another ... i just cannot get that done up and everything.
its just so wierd.
I HATE PEOPLE WHO CANNOT SPEAK ENGLISH> GOOD ENGLISH !!!i know i cannot expect from people who are retarded or soemthing. and by the way i wasn't referring to them. i was referring more to like ...
normal human beings. -.-''
i shan't argue. or say anything already.
i'm hungry.kaaye\.- to those eyes ;i fall in love.and to them ;i loose my self conscience.
memories locked at Monday, January 15, 2007
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
okay ... so now we say ...
'this'. i have been pretty much
keeping very calm about things i know that
should not be kept calm about. because of
yada - yada. but then the thing here is that ... what if this thing is being put on a plate and given to you with of course nothing but the best service that money can buy.
or so you think la.than what are you supposed to get done.
you don't have any obligation.do you ?
i don't even know !!!i love wenny for saying the obligation thingy.i am in in deep soup and i jolly well know it.
so much for being a swinger. oh man.
i am supposed to be good in this kinda situations !!! god damned it.
=
school rocks.only cause of my ting tong girls and my classmates.besides that ;
I HATE SCHOOL.my micro and circuit facs are worse then kopitiam uncles. seriously.
GOD DAMNED IT.
I GIVE UP !!!
kaaye\.- the things i want to get done ;they are very far away.from reality and so on.
memories locked at Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Saturday, January 06, 2007
think think think.
what to blog. what to blog.
i am awake 30 mins before normal time.i hate it.
damn mother ; came waking me up
so that i can head to like city hall with her. oh man. damn it. i hate it. oh ... not to mention ,
I HAD A WIERD DREAM. a damn wierd one. with
wierd characters and all. oh man.
have i ever mentioned that the only fairy tale that
i have never finished seeing ; or reading till this date is
'alice in wonderland'. can you believe it ? i have not finished reading or watching that show. cause ... i feel its
FREAKY !!! damn it.
its scary. you get like a
mad hatter and then a disappearing cat ? i think that's enuff to show you my stand.
i am tired.buah bye.
kaaye\.- my heros ;the ones that clean the streets of hearts.they're gone.
memories locked at Saturday, January 06, 2007
Friday, January 05, 2007
你的嘴角微微上翘.
性感地无可救药想象不到如此心跳.
你的一切都想要.
预兆气氛微妙.
因为爱你我挣倒.
预兆气氛微妙.
因为爱你我挣倒.=
today's weather's perfect for the beach.
but i rather stay in doors. i just got up at the
'holiday' timing of like ... 1400hrs. =)) woo wee ... come to think about it right ...
there is alot of things i have not been saying. not that i don't want to ... but i rather not to. well ... whichever it is.
the problems have not been settled.maybe i should just keep quiet and see how everything falls right in front of my face. or ... should i help. cause whenever i want to help ... it turns against me.
DEE & WENNY.
DON'T OVER DRAMATIZE THIS.
JENNY AND I LOVE YOU GUYS. - ALOT.and it
hurts us to see you guys like this.
it has come a point where by
jenny and i have got no idea what the fuck is going on anymore. cause things are either
too complicated or too simple to understand. to add on the the whole entire ball game ...
elton has not spoken a word. rather ... she is some what involved too. right ?
so why is she spared from this little thing we call 'chaos'. its unfair.everyone has problems ; its just a matter of how we settle them.
its just a matter of how we do.my life is taking a turn.
for the worst or for the best. i don't know. cause ... CAUSE ...
celene is coming back on the 11th. that is why. i only have till the 10th to get things settled. and knowing my very very ...
lazy and 'fucker-ing' character , i don't think that i will get it done by then.
i am too tired and at the same time ...
too lazy and can't be bothered to get things done up. oh ... we all know.
loving is so easy ; but forgetting is so hard.so why love.=))
LING ; NANA ; WEI ; VI. ling nao hia. ling lao pei come to school for 2 days already still have not even met one.
you think ling lao hia don't miss le nang ar ! nah bei.
PLEASE MEET UP FOR LUNCH BREAK !!! tia diou boh !?
loves.
kaaye\. - before that daylight drops into nothingness ;i want to resurrect.
memories locked at Friday, January 05, 2007
Thursday, January 04, 2007
so where do i begin.
its short comings already seen.before it all begins.i see its end.for fear of everything so small ;fragile and breakable.this little thing we call our hearts.
oh people.
let's put it in this very blatant and a little crude manner. love is self fish. it surpasses friendship ;
no matter how strong. it took down empires. women help build cities ; but bring down empires. ever heard of this phrase ? a woman was all it took to take down troy.
a woman named cleopatra was all it took to bring down alexander's greek empire. oh sure as hell ,
i would blame the woman to the best of my capabilities. cause ,
that is the only thing i know of. to think that women are to blame for this love nonsense that causes
your heart to skip 2 beats ; your tummy to go sky high ; your endorphines released like mad shoppers at a sale ; your feet - 2 lefts. its all boils down to this thing we call 'love'. when those hormones in your body react to a certain person.
when they collide with your prevailing brain. and they
attack slowly from the back ; to release those 'love' hormones that make you go crazy.
then wonder why you went crazy the other moment. its the littlest things that the person does that makes you wonder ;
why the fuck do i even like him / her ?! love make people feel
'whole' , something in between those lines ... people feel so good , they don't want to let things go.
its like its platonical. it HAS to happen.
you LOVEin. you LOVEout. how they happen is another thing is another thing in total. people either let things be ; let love go ;
hold on to a dying love ;
not love at all. love as a whole will not be able to suffice.
it will only be LOVE ; if and only if ...
you manage to get the jist of the whole situation. where by at the end of the day , no matter how much the person pissed you off ...
you forgive and forget the very next minute. or when you are alone ... images of him / her reply in your mind.
FRAME BY FRAME. little treasures of their smile locked deep into your memory banks. there are 2 separate matters occuring at this stage.
both are very very close to home.one regards the 2 pillars of my life.
the other regards me.=
the 2 pillars of my life.i don't know what is going to happen. but
i never want to have to be in the center and HAVE to make a choice between anyone of you. because ,
i love you guys so much. you guys have been there since ... i think i thought.
from when i fell down , to the times where by i made girls run around my palm at the command of my fingers. you guys were there for everything !
christmas ; new year ; valentine's day ; EVERY OTHER DAY. this is how much ,
you guys play a part in my life. it might be nothing that ... i don't quite show it. but ...
everything about which concerns the both of you. i go soft. loving someone is not wrong.loving the same person as each other ; IS NOT WRONG.its just that
circumstances are very very queer.threading on thin ice ;
so you might say.with regards to ; yours truly.oh ... we all know what kinda person i am.
i change partners like underwear. treat them like disposables. and then forget about the whole entire situation in the next split second that comes along.
but what if this one ;is not a disposable underwear ?
than what.
kaaye\.- leave me thinking ;with your heart ranching.
memories locked at Thursday, January 04, 2007
Monday, January 01, 2007
not like something you might already know.
something has been bubbling under. i have 27 more days left. wait ...
26 mroe days left. till
celene returns.
my neck is on the chopping board. oh ...
i can just feel the chopper. i swear. to add on to that ... i know.
I KNOW.HELL HAS NO FURY ;
LIKE A WOMAN WARTH.okay.
i think i am going to die. sooner or later. maybe. just ...
MAYBE ... its just me ! why do i always
get myself in this kinda shit. damn it. okay then again ...
contradicting me is going to le things go. see if they come back. just for this once. i am going to use my brain as in the ... '
non existent one'. yeah.
that one. in this
little game we all call 'love'.let's see where it would lead me.
for fun or for hate.
for lust or for love. we'd all just have to wait and see.
cause ...
i am going fishing. my diamond troller is coming. so ... we'd just
wait and see. its free for all.
kaaye\.- screaming my heart out ;nothing ever going to change.
memories locked at Monday, January 01, 2007
HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE !!!its a new year. and
i am filled with some shitty zest in my life. wondering why actually. maybe cause ... this year. MY EGO IS GETTING BOOSTED BIG TIME. and not to mention ,
i am not as screwed up as last year's. and yeah.
the medicine is so working.i swear by them and their miraculous cures.
ON A SIDE NOTE. i have my new year resolutions.
4 of them to be exact. but ... i know.
my friends will say i am only wasting my time trying to even think about them.1. stop spending so much money.2. stop drinking so much.3. stop smoking so much.4. live life as it is ; with or without 'someone'.heh heh. i know. sounds stupid and all. but ...
i really want to get them done. enough with the playing. seriously.
i am so tired. its actually scaring me.and to the rest of the world.
happy new year.may this year be better than last year's.
mistakes and wounds healed.more of everything good for everyone. [just the right amount.]
loves.
kaaye\.- after this life time ;in the face of christ.would i say that i have done everything.i could.
memories locked at Monday, January 01, 2007