Saturday, September 30, 2006
holy sweet reverie.
i hate tonight. to begin with ... my head hurts now. damn it.
2 nites of clubbing. how sweet can that get. god damned it. anyways ... woke up at 2030hrs. yes.
in the night. i was pissing tired. reached hoe at like ... 1500 hours ??? some where around there. slept for like ... 5 hours ???
fucking sweet. i needed that power nap. if not ... i would have been some
living zombie parading around the club. met
nina. headed down to town to meet her. before heading to coco latte with cheeze and the rest. oh my gawd !!!
i saw kristen and edmund. missed them to bits. haven't seen them for like ... AGES. and
i MEAN AGES !!! since like the last time ... we went down to red club. about ... 3 or 4 months back. gawd. or even more !!! buah ha ha.
what fate brings man.talking about what fate brings.
HOW SUAY can i fucking hell get.
PLEASE !!! chee bai. as if
seeing the person is not enough. then i saw the
car plate number. the exact same thing as dee. oh my gawd.
lil dee dee and i had the exact same thing happening to us. THIS IS NOT HAPPENING. i know we are about the same star sign ... but
STILL !!! gawd damned it.
anyways , that
totally turned me off. but ... never mind. i have a big heart. i think. heh. for
karma works in wonderous ways ...
'yu mo gui gui fai ti zhao'. *chants.
miss vanessa is angry with me. cause i went clubbing for two days and i haven't met her over the week end. hopefully tomorrow i am going to meet her for dinner or something. and maybe stay over.
I GET DRIVEN TO SCHOOL. so like why not right ... its like at bukit batok only ... so yes.
hate it. you fucking messed up my entire life.
if you don't want to fuck around with a girl ...
and
I KNOW you need a guy.
then please leave me alone.
for the love of god.
LEAVE ME ALONE. stinking incubus ;
head with a dick.
kaaye\.- passenger seat's mine.
MINE. MINE. MINE !!!
memories locked at Saturday, September 30, 2006
=
its a saturday ... and i am lying on
my very comfy bed. that has got to be the
best thing on earth , caue it is currently raining ... and
my eyes are like closing. for the apparent reason that i went clubbing yesterday. though it was a blast ...
IT COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER !!! CHAN !!! if you are reading this ...
YOU OWE ONE ONE OUTING. i don't care when. you just OWE ME THE OUTING. cause
you freaking didn't turn up yesterday. YES I KNOW YOU READ MY BLOG PERIODICALLY.
I KNOW.anyways , i would just let the pictures tell all.
i love the company last night. zouk's music was bad. it was really horrid. not that i minded at all .. cause in the end we went down to DXO. please ...
we got uber crunk ... all over the place. and i loved it. every single bit of it rakwd my freaking socks off !!! sweet serenity of clubbing.
too bad
bro wasn't there. or it would have been
MUCH MORE ENJOYABLE. we all
missed her company.
mummeh , dee , krys , elton & i had the greatest time. =))
i love you guys.and i am off ta bed.
my eyes
can't fend gravity off ;
not any longer.
BUAH BYE CHEE BAI'S !!!
kaaye\.- the most vulgar thing on earth ;
you.
memories locked at Saturday, September 30, 2006
Thursday, September 28, 2006
okay.
i got a new phone.
i got a new hair.
and i got a new piercing.
which I ALL LOVE !!!=))
come on man. i love it. its my new look. and it better stick. i don't know.
EXTREME MAKE OVER I FIGURE ??? my hair is curently
red. and i love it. my
piercing is at my eye brown. and i love it. my new phone is
E61 / palm from nokia. and i love it. =))
what more can i ask for man !!! buah ha ha.
i don't know why.
but i still feel that money can't buy you happiness. like seriously it can't. when i once thought that i could.
SOMEHOW. whichever man. i give up. whatever. i am just going to live my life
JUST LIKE THAT. dee and i went to get our hair done today. with my little sister taggin along. heh. =)) with
mummeh as well. i missed her. so bloody long since we last met. and like ... yeah. tomorrow she is coming with us for like
ZOUK. tian. =)) totally. we are going to have a blast.
i can't WAIT. damn it.
so yes. dee said ... she is going to like open a shop come cafe come club. just like
'the planet'. aka the one featured in theLword. if you watch that show ...
you'd definately understand. so yes.
i actually hope that comes true. it'd be like pretty fun seh. ha ha. and she said ...
'i know why so many people are always attracted to you. I KNOW WHY'.
i was like , 'why ???'
'cause you are unattainable.'i have got no comments about that part. i mean.
what is so unattainable. i hate it. oh wells.
i love her hair. and i love mine. we look freaking good. and tomorrow's clubbing.
sweet. kaaye\.- sweet blessed night.
take the pain away.
and leave me emotionless ; as always.
please.
memories locked at Thursday, September 28, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
i am on a shopping frenzy.and i can't stop.i got a skinny tie today !!!
a nice white one.
a very nice white one. =)) met
wenny in town. at wheel lock to be exact. then we walked around. went to wisma. saw
siew li. heh heh.
missed her like nuts and now she is all black and red. cause she just went to some random place in malay land. (no offence) yes yes. all black. bro and i had nice bagel and curry puffy there. heh. and slacked privately ... till some
ANG MOH came and sat with us.
LIKE HELLO ???
PRIVATE SPACE !!! i know the couch very big la. but STILL !!!! that is so not the point. I
NVASION OF PRIVACY. that is what i call it.
oh my freakng god. -.-"
never mind. headed for a fag then bro weny off. and i went to slack at borders to wait for
mummeh. went to the converse at heeren with her. then went to bugis. cause mumeh said bugis had sale.
SALE MY ARSE. wasted mt blinking time. then we got home.
i'm tired.and as you might already figure ...
i didn't head to school. i headed to the bed in my room from the living room. heh heh. what more can i say. its far and ...
totally inviting to head to school. ARGH !!! oh wells.
tomorrow is going to be
uber irritating. i have to get my nice flat arse to like
CHANGI NAVAL BASE. omfg. before lunch. and i have to wake up at like 830 cause like it takes forever to head there. then
i am heading back to harbour for a little visit to gazel. going to get her , her b'dae present tmr.
meeting
momo later on ... and
dad. to get my phone changed ...
E61. muah muah. come on baby. heh heh.
ITS GOING TO BE MINE. i told you i am on a shopping frenzy right ???!!!
believe in it man. cause its fucking true !!! =))
thursday hurry come.please i beg.hurry come.
kaaye\.- my life's not yours to pick.
cause its mine to control.
memories locked at Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
i suppose by now ,
you would know.
how much i love marvel comic's batman.
and lego as well.i have loved them since i was
suber UBER young.
and
i still love them to bits.so the thing goes ...
i dreamt.
i dreamt of ...BATMAN vs MISS SWAN.=))
=
buah ha ha. i dreamt that
i was batman and i was out to hunt and
kill miss swan or rather her look alike. it was
super intense. i was in this theatre filled with ghosts. and they were watching some old flick. i tried to head in there un-noticed. so that maybe
i could sneak up to miss swan and kill her when she enters the theatre.
WAIT. miss swan
is not a ghost here. she is just ... a human. that has friends that are all ghosts. and that
she can't get killed unless she is in this particular theatre. (don't ask me why ... its just a dream !!!) so yes. i sneaked and slouched into a seat in this particular theatre ...
everyone was quiet. cept for a few ghosts who are in couples and doing what couples do ...
yada yada. and just like expected miss swan came in. she took a good look at the theatre and slowly proceeded to her seat ... but just as
i did not notice , she came over to my seat and throttled my neck. even though i was sleeping ...
i FELT IT. and i retaliated by kicking her and knee-ing her tummy.
then i woke up.cause instead of having being trottled ... my bolter's strings were around my neck. and i had kneed the side of my bed instead of her.
i feel stupid.but the dream was great.
the day i became batman.and
forgot you.kaaye\.- its okay that you're gone i guess ;
its okay to feel numb as well.
if you come back ,
i'd be dead.
memories locked at Monday, September 25, 2006
issues issues issues.
i have alot of issues lately. and my arse is like BURNT.as in like ...
burnt.
i am
so overly consumed in my ...
little world and like ,
i feel dead.seriously dead.
emotionally and everything.
dead.=
issue one : i can't stop ; thinking of her.i have a huge issue.
my mind plays images of her periodically and like , it plays them when i see something that reminds me of her. and my heart wants something to happen of which ,
I DON'T. i don't want anything to happen. at least that is what my
brain is thinking and wanting. but my heart wants the other wise.its telling me ,
to call her soon. expect her call. its been about ... 4 days.
not a word from her. i intended to spend my little forutne with her ... but looks like ,
i never did. why ??? i can't understand myself. is it just me ???
i think it is.it was just me all along.right ???=
issue two : my close friend tiffany and the -ing's.the people i hold close to my heart are
in the midst of a little squabble. and i don't like it. i don't like feeling threatened or that my friend has already left.
without me. and i am still here waiting for something ... that you jolly well know might never come.
it was all ust a matter of trust in a certain sense.
i felt betrayed.and
i don't know why.i don't like this lingering feeling of being betrayed or anything along its lines , but i can't help it. resentful ??? a little. frankly speaking ...
i even feel revenge-ful and at the same time , i feel a little lost. i don't know when or how am i going to react when i see you ; hue.
i don't.i'm so freaking lost.=
issue three : i need to get my phone ; hair dyed and cut ; piercing done.reasons to all of the above are very simple.
1.
i want to be brand new. shrink the past. i don't want anything to remind me of her.
at least not again. or something.
2.
i need a new look. cause everytime i look at the mirror , it
reminds me of too many things.3.
i want the piercings. cause i know when i get in.
i won't be able to get any done.=
i am lost. i hate it. jay chou's new song is
not helping.my medicine can't stop these thoughts.
can it ???
kaaye\.- i need it to go away.
far away.
memories locked at Monday, September 25, 2006
Sunday, September 24, 2006
白色的风筝
安静的纯真
真实的感觉
梦境般遥远
甜甜的海水
复杂的眼泪
看你傻笑着
握住我的手
梦希望没有尽头
我们走到这就好
因为我不想太快走完这幸福
很可惜没有祝福
但爱你并不孤独
不会再让你哭
我陪你走到最后
能不能不要回头
你紧紧地抱住我
说你不需要承诺
你说我若一个人会比较自由
我不懂你说什么
反正不会松手
=
i don't know what i am doing right now.
i really don't. so tell me.
where are you.when i think of you so much ;
and you do nothing to beef the invisible ;
deterring relationship up.its such a chore.when i think about it.
cause i can't do nuts about anything.
tell me ;
before i fade away.do me this favor.
kaaye\.- i'm lost for words ;
to say.
memories locked at Sunday, September 24, 2006
oh my freaking god.
i spent like ... $700 plus.in 3 days.tell me i treat money like water.
i got like ...
a pair of jeans ,
3 tees ,
1 shirt ,
2 tees for my sister ,
laura ashley stuff for my mother ,
gave gram money.AND THEN THE WO EH BO EH.
ITS $700 FREAKING BUCKS !!!oh my tian.
i am feeling so broke. but know what ???
this wednesday ... its dye-ing hair and cutting IT time.
thursday is piercing.and friday ... its going to be like ...
CLUBBING.heh.
i am dead.
MONEY IS FREE.MY ARSE.
E61 here KAYE COMES !!!hopefully by this friday.swee.
no girlfriend = alot of money.
got girlfriend = forever broke.i am in bliss.but know what ...
even though i get what i want.
i don't feel happy.
money doesn't buy happiness.
and i need it.tell me about it.
kaaye\.- i want to ask ,
where are you ???
but i figured ,
its redundant.
memories locked at Sunday, September 24, 2006
Friday, September 22, 2006
i treated them to dessert today !!! =))
lil' twit and bro.buah ha ha.
chocolate fondue.=
this is
part one of today's entry.
its the bad before the good.i was feeling really happy today. for one , i felt rich. for two , i bought my skinny jeans. for three , which is also the most important one.
that i met dee and bro today. and for four , my mind's cleared.
i treasure my hands so freaking much ,
i am always scared one day ... i might loose them. l
ike what if ... what if , they die before me. what if they move on without me. what if they are in pain. what if i can't do anything to help. what if they are not feeling good , but i can't do anything to be of help. WHAT IF ,
i can't be a good friend.cause i know.
I KNOW. without these friends , I CALL FRIENDS ;
i would be dead. literally.see , what i mean by
'MY MIND IS CLEARED' ... is very simple. i wash my hands off everything
from this very moment , whatever happens to this whoever i hold so close to my heart ,
I HAVE WASHED MY HANDS OFF THIS PERSON. TIFFANY HUE. this is for you.you know me hue.
i don't like being lied to. i don't like being uninformed. bro's not the only one crying writing this entry.
my tears don't come easy , but they are flowing for you. for you hue. i hope you are fucking happy. i wonder every morning i awake , when.
WHEN WILL HUE COME BACK. cause i fucking miss you so much. i miss you more then
i miss my own 'life'. but you know what ??? i give up.
I GIVE UP. I FUCKING GIVE UP. i do.
=
i miss the times we go clubbing. i miss the times we get crunk. i miss the times we go for supper. i miss the times we went for lunch. i miss the times we met up. i miss the times we camera whored. i miss the times i post our NEW pictures on friendster. i miss talking to you over the phone. i miss people mistaking we are together. i miss sitting at spins with you. i miss smoking with you. i miss girl watching with you. i miss the times we go clubbing.i worry myself with nothing. i worry myself everyday , every morning ...
LITERALLY. if hue's going to have a bad time in school. if wenny is going to work. if denyse is going to be okay when she wakes up. i worry for each and everyone of you.
EVERY MORNING. cause you jolly well know.
I LOVE YOU ALL. and i don't keep it as lip service. I DON'T. I MEAN IT. EVERYTHING I STATE.its friday.
we never fail to meet.
ITS FUCKING FRIDAY.- don't tell me you didn't know we would be meeting.
cause if you do ;
there is only one thing i can say.you're either stupid or stupid.denyse told me she saw you. she looked right into your eye. and without THINKING , you just walked past us.
FUCK. you say you miss us. but when you see us ,
you run and hide with bradon ??? HUE. i am not stupid. you know what this means ???
THIS MEANS THAT WE DON'T MEAN A FUCK TO YOU. NOT A FUCKING CHEE BAI FUCK. my instanteous reaction ???
i ran all the way back to taka. but i didn't see you.
maybe fate was on your side today. dee and bro were
fucking scared that i would slap you. i was instantly filled with so much anger. HUE YOU DON'T KNOW. don't fool around with me. DON'T.
DON'T FUCKING FOOL AROUND WITH US. DON'T. if i saw you hue , this won't be the only things i would have said. actually , i wouldn't even bother writing this entry in total.
I WOULDN'T. you know.
I KNOW YOU ARE HAPPILY ATTACHED TO BRANDON. copy and paste my link to him and his friends to check my diary out. cause
i am writing and spilling dirty laundry of you and us on my blog. then maybe ask them to click to 'links' , where they can find bro's blog.
i have a stinking feeling you just might.are we that INHUMANE ??? HUE. remember i told you ???
'as long as you are happy , i don't care who you are with. i will give you my blessings. anything that makes you happy darling'. you remmeber those words ???
CAUSE I DO. i remember them , cause that was what
i ALWAYS told you. i would understand to why. you would go with him. that you are busy with school that you never attended. i don't know. i feel like ... the kid that i saw grew up , or my kid. that i brought up , just bit the hand that feeds that fucking bastard. you know how that feels ???
DO YOU ??? cause I NOW DO.
i didn't care that you didn't update bro or dee about stuff , cause i know sometimes , you do things that are totally wrong. but you know , i'd somehow make it sound right. ask yourself.
REALLY. ask yourself. how many times have i made
something so wrong , so right. with just one sentance. HOW MANY TIMES ???
i don't know what to say anymore.
i have cried enough. i don't want to have puffy eyes tomorrow. i don't want to know anything anymore. cause i am fucking pissed. i have been fucking pissed for so long. i give in to my fucking greed for wanting to see you.
I FUCKING GIVE UP. cause i am no longer going to BOTHER.
NO MORE. ignorance is bliss. so i am going to do just that.
I AM GOING TO IGNORE EVERYTHING THAT MY MIND PLAYS OF YOU. i don't know what i did wrong.
you tell me.if you bother.
kaaye\.- educate me ;
that i have been doing it wrong.
all wrong.
all along.
memories locked at Friday, September 22, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
its all about
being able to construe. that is what i have come up with. its all about being able to construe everything. to a certain point where by
you know and you predict what is going to happen next. or for that matter ,
what would you do next. there is no such thing that needs no construing. seriously.
everything needs good comprehendsion of the whole situation. i hate school. there is
always something we want. but we
never get. there is always something that always lingers in your absence and that
will forever remain there. never to come one step closer to anything you call euphoria.
its random. I KNOW. no need to point that out. seriously.
i find myself not feeling.
i am numb ??? eh ... is it my fault. that
i don't take people's considerations into account. or that
i fell in love with the wrong person. or that
my life is going down the drains even before navy. educate me. how this runs. i need to know.
if you've got the answer , i am definately at all ears. seriously.
tell me something ;
i don't already know.
but deny knowing.kaaye\.- beyond comprehension.
i am lost.
memories locked at Thursday, September 21, 2006
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
today is the last day of my school holidays.
i am extermely sad.words alone cannot express how i feel about it.
ITS SADDENING.i can't sleep late anymore.
oh my god.
i can't do ALOT OF THINGS. there is currently
no more freedom. seriously. there is no more freedom in like my life. considering that like , school is starting. which is a
seriously bad case of events. oh my tian. hiaz.
no more mambo. no more drinks. no more supper at 300hrs. no more this. no more that. i mean like ... CAN YOU IMAGINE MY LIFE with stuff that i love to do. in another words ,
stuff that you can't do that often like i can. WO DE TIAN !!!went to town for awhile. met
nina !!! =)) heh. long long time haven't met her. and
i miss her like shit. heh. oh my tian. anyways ,
saved her from this bunch of people , that were
her little juniors. heh. and ben was there !!! argh. i miss him tons. seriously. so we walked from heeren to taka. and charis was as usual , with her
batam timing. (one hour late)
did i mention.
i forgot to take my medicine this very morning ???heh.
headed back to spins.
cheeze came over with her gf and her gf's friend. yup. headed down to ceni for dinner at the taiwan snack place. slacked. went back to spins.
SLACKED. and now i am home.
the tension was too high for me. don't ask.
i don't feel the same.not anymore.
kaaye\.- how my life runs.
memories locked at Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
my eyes are hurting. like no one's business. that i have to squint them just to type this entry on my blog.
they feel sore. rather , they are sore. with a little blood shot. it maybe just me.
but i dunt think so. it hurts. i am not feeling good. school is going to start tomorrow and i think i am going to fuck it up.
i am so going to be such a fucking arse. trust me. i don't want school to start. just when i am like enjoying myself. and yes.
just like clock work the damn fucking radio is playing
some sick love song that is making my eyes hurt even more. for the love of god. why don't they just leave me alone.
i had the worst dream of my entire month. i don't need to have
the radio go against me as well. i think too much.
i watch tv for the sake of turning it on , while my head turns to the other direction.
of thinking of everything else but concentrating on the tv programme. i don't know what is going on anymore. i hope its working. its not about her.
its not. i don't know what is going wrong in my life that
i can't move on.for the love of god.
for a single stupid mistake,
i have to pay its price till now ???doesn't make the slightest sense. i'm giving in to my desires.old habits die hard.
kaaye\.- stop.
i beg.
memories locked at Tuesday, September 19, 2006
i have lot to blog today !!! =))
buah ha ha.
today is definately - happy happy day.
for one : i met wenny and dee.we had lunch together.
for two : window shopping was a
success.for three : it was all time well spent.
let's see. woke up at like ... 1300hrs. heh. and yes i was supposed to meet
dee at like ... 1330hrs. on the dot. but ... you see , we have perfect timing. and i
MEAN PERFECT TIMING. heh. we arrived at tiong at like 1345
on the dot. both of us. we were glamourously LATE. heh. oh well ... at least we were
LATE TOGETHER !!! =))
so neither of us had to wait. heh.
headed down to bugis to like look at
stupid stuff , before we went down to river walk to visit
bro. heh. i like the necklace , but dee said that it was too girly. oh well ...
i have nothing to say in that department , i dunt do accessories. especially if they are for women. heh.
i only think if they look good or not. not whether they are common or not. heh.
i am simple.
so yes. we headed to river walk and
we caught wenny. heh. headed to fisherman's wharf. oh my gawd. we spent a good time there having fish and chips. and yeah. walked all the way to marina to send dee dee off ta work.
OH MY GOD. leaving bro and i alone in marina with itchy hands ,
IS NOT A GOOD IDEA. WE SAW SO MANY NICE STUFF ; ALOT.we went to topman. which was
such a wrong move man. seriously. i tell you we
shouldn't have gone in there. now i have like ... 2 things i want to get man. oh my tian. its bad. and think that
bro looked fucking good in that black army shirt. tian. this is what i want to get :
1. that pair of skinnny jeans from topman.
2. that polka dotted shirt from topman as well. 3. heels from charles and keith.
oh my god. i tell you man.
i want those 2 stuff. and its like skinny cut man. i got into
one size smaller. god. i was so freaking happy. heh. =))
but that is not the point , the thing is that i need to get stuff. heh. and i think i would look damn good.
i finally realised that my legs are really tiny. my god. bro said that it looked small. god.
HELP. i am looking like a chicken. and
i love this pair of heels. oh my god. i tell you. its like this
3.5 to like 4 inch pair of heels. its like so fucking high and nice. and its like ... crocodile-d print. damn nice.
i was thinking of getting them. with my very nice heels and that shirt from zara. oh my god.
i am going to shock you guys one of these days !!! =)) i love shopping. where is my mother now ???!!!when i need her ...
she fails to appear. GOD.
and wenny , dee and i
might be going to tioman !!!
during my birthday.
sweet ...
=))
kaaye\.- without you.
i think i might be better off.
memories locked at Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Monday, September 18, 2006
i am not going to be
suicidal. but , there have been
images that swam through my head like that of soilders running through the forests. they attack , swift , hard , impactful and unforgiving. and with no avil , they make you weak to your knees every time they hit.
i have been having images run through my head. like no one's business.
of a knife no more then 20cm in length , that of a kitchen one piercing through my heart. with someone
giving me that pierced knife a little twist to make the impact felt and known. and
i can see myself. my eyes wide opened , hands holding unto that knife.
something is going wrong. i don't see myself being suicidal. i don't feel the least bit. but ...
why do i get these images flooding through my head like its no one's business ??? its actually
draining me. i didn't take my tablet this morning , that was cause i was at her place. and
i thought it would be fine. but something is going wrong now. cause i don't feel fine. and not to mention ...
i used to. she was the natural prozac.
its wrong. something is definately wrong.god's no more listening. he's definately given up hope on me.
i've given up hope on myself. trust me. i have.
its tiring. i see myself dying ??? is it going to be like a de ja vu or something ??? cause if it is ... then ,
when. =
let's have this example.
person A - who's a girl.
person B - who's a guy.
person C - who's also a guy.A and B spend the night together at A's place. for the fact that
B missed A. easy.
spent the whole day with A. then went for dinner with A. Person A then calls B to watch a movie. but B can't. so person A called person C.
who is A's ex. B's starting to
feel wierd. cause for one thing is that , B has seen this hapening
too many times. for an example , B's only been called by A cause maybe ... and most likely ,
A has got no one to head out with or nothing to do. which is why B is always so sort after.
B is also A's ex. but their story has not ended.
and like a never ending story ... there are never ending troubles. and B's stupid. cause B never knows what he is doing. ever. and as a stupid idiot. B's just going with the invisible flow.
being stupid. B's starting to think that ,
A's loose. if you are smart enough.
you can put names to that of the persons. if not. than ... well ... its better off that way as well. heh.
ignorance is bliss my dear readers. so yes. its
ALWAYS HAPPENING. is it just B. or is it the truth.
kaaye\.- i want to break you down so badly.
to make you see.
how broken i am.
memories locked at Monday, September 18, 2006
i feel utterly insulted.
na na popped me online , just so to tell me that
i have chinese words in my msn nick. okay , i might be an
idiot at chinese. but its not all that bad right !!!??? for the love of god. i am chinese after all. and i can understand chinese ; somehow.
(wei wei if you are reading this, you know that i have improved a hell lot from last time okay !!! tian.) my total ang moh kan tang days are offically over.
i am chee na-fied now. so please.
don't label me as an ah moh kang tang !!! chee bai.
never mind.
i miss wenny. i miss denyse. i miss hue. i miss my ting tong clique. i miss too many people for my own good.
i miss vanessa. i miss drinking. i miss everything about clubbing. and guess what.
i am going to start school on thursday. which means ,
no mambo this week. which totally sucks. but i might just go down anyway. vanessa's heading down.
so give me a reason not to.some anniversary present i got. ...
i got a stupid eeyore plush. not that i am complaining.
i was actually eyeing on it. heh. and its now at her place. on her so called very expensive bed sheets that i think look damn ugly. cause ,
its just UGLY. god.
don't get me wrong.
i am not attached. heh. i don't know what the hell am i with her. and
vanessa ... you have yet to answer my question. what makes us ... 'US' ???
since when was i emotionally attached to you. i need to know !!!
and its on the 13th ?? i don't get it !!!
never mind. i don't think i ever will anyway.
kaaye\.- when the world turns against you ;
find prozac.
=))
memories locked at Monday, September 18, 2006
Saturday, September 16, 2006
那笑容是傻气.
你我的过去.
被深深真的忘记.
缺氧过后的爱情.
存心的眼泪是多余.
我知道你我都没有错.
只是忘了怎么退后.
信誓旦旦给的承诺.
全被时间扑了空.
我知道门都没有错.
只是放手会比较好过.
最美的爱情会一定带去.
我知道我们都没有错.
只是放手会比较好过.
最美的爱情回忆里带去.(待续)
(相信你我还会有开始
只因我们都没有错)
this is to you.when i said to forget me ;
i didn't mean it.do you understand.
=
i was walking over to
esther's place last night at like ... 12 plus ??? as as usual ... when i have to walk over , i would have to by pass this multistory car park.
which is a little eery. but
never mind , that is not the point here. then there is the ... little problem that i am having with car plate numbers. and true to its word , there.
THERE IT WAS. the
dreaded 4 numbers. on a black tuscani. i took a pic of it , to illustrate my meaning to esther. she didn't believe it. and
neither did i. for the love of god.
i am dead serious about it.
WHY WHY WHY WHY !!!chao chee bai.
those numbers add up to 16. take a guess.never mind.
i am having a gastric attack. puked my arse off.
ended up at a&e. tell me i am good.
vanessa ended up driving me there. cause i didn't stay over in the end. don't ask why.
i am still fucking sore over it. and actually
angry to begin with. never mind. it was drama at the a&e. and the medicine are all the same.
i swear. antacid ; with that white liquid thingy that i so hate.
ARGH. i hate medicine to begin with. this morning ...
i had to take the full dose. cause i wasn't feeling right. and it seems that last night ,
i had to take my full course as well. this sucks.
i hate my life.have i told you that.
kaaye\.- sweet repulsed night ;
let me dwell.
memories locked at Saturday, September 16, 2006
oh my god. i swear i hate.
I HATE MY BIOLOGICAL BODY. i hate every single part of it. oh my freaking god. i tell you ... its horrid. its horrid.
i am having the red river. wait ...
its the sea ... a very very turbulent one at this very very moment. i hate every single second of it. oh my fucking god.
i hate the feeling of oozing BLOOD. damn it.
i am feeling lethargic.
i am feeling emotional.i am feeling like a woman.there is nothing worse then this feeling. i swear. ARGH !!!
i hate having a body of a woman. i really really DO. fuck. never mind.
its my little mini me's birthday today. and yeah. and this morning. i became a stupid wedding ring bearer. its for one of my good friend's wedding. vanessa's cousin to be exact. he was great man.
he looked great in his armani / dunhill suit / tux. and i only got to wear a
zegna. buah ha ha.
(p.s - mine's more expensive.) not my problem. vanessa demanded him to get me the zegna one. so ...
i have no comments. headed to my cousin house. and i tell you ... after eating,
i fell asleep on my aunt's bed. oh my god. it felt super uber good man. you don't know how good i feel. ... i am deprieved of good sleep.
and i blame no one. god.
and now i am home.
too lazy to club. i think i might be going over her place after she clubs.
i am too tired. too tired.
too irritated.too much blood.
kaaye\.- why am i doing this.
i am baffling myself as well.
memories locked at Saturday, September 16, 2006
Friday, September 15, 2006
for the love of god.
when i keep quiet , it pretty obvious
i am not having a good time. either that , or i am just
admiring. how irritating ; insensitive ; interesting ; beautiful ; appetizing people are. which ever it is ... i don't think it would be good
if i keep quiet. its never good when someone keeps his or her comments to him or her self. right ... in this case.
VANESSA READ THIS. i am keeping quiet. figure the reason to it yourself.
its pretty obvious. i haven't complained about something. and that is nothing other then ... seeing a
specific 4 numbers on the same car plate. not that i have been looking at car plates often these few days. but then whenever i turn and my eye happens to fall on one particular one. its that
jinxed 4 numbers ,
either scrambled ; sunny sided or cooked. i am
utterly disappointed with myself.
what kinda arse luck is this.seriously.
went to
ling's place today. after
much hassle , in the waking up part. god. its so difficult to wake up. and now
i am very much sedated. ... fuck it. its friday. for the love of god. anyways , we went down.
wei wei and i. with our very heavy eye lids. did grocerry shopping. then headed to her place.
watched a concert vcd. then headed to cook.
it ended in disaster !!! ARGH !!! bad recipe. next time i am just going to cook the normal one that i am more familiar with. heh heh. =)) anyways,
it was really fun. though we didn't do much.
i love spending time with them.tomorrow its the
-ing's. its going to be good. it has to be. we are the -ing's. what am i talking. heh. and in another words ...
more chance to camera whore !!! kao.
kaaye\.- utterly addicted.
its a bad sign.
we know it.
memories locked at Friday, September 15, 2006
Thursday, September 14, 2006
its thursday. and the nightmare of boxers after boxers are over. realise i spell it like undergarments. anyways ,
ITS FINALLY OVER. oh my gawd. finally. easy money ; yes. but it
bored the living day lights out of your small soul. oh my gawd. not to mention
we camera whored the whole day !!! =)) just see it for yourselves !!! on my friendster account. heh.
whichever. we had a
heavy carbo lunch today. wei wei was like stuffing herself with endless bread. not that i blame her. the bread that they sell at like
sun moulin is like
HEAVEN. let's not go there ... but yes. its great that we had a
carbo ENRICHED lunch. heh.
went to york hotel with
gram's after which. to pick
uncle lee , aunt angie and the little one up for dinner. headed to the place behind tiong. this
teochew thingy , food is good. people are there. what more can you ask for ??? whichever , headed down town half way to meet her.
i was late.i let my defences down. once again. w
hat is new. walked around heeren , i saw nothing. but maybe this
new pair of adidas shoes , that
i have my eyes on. interesting as it all sounds ... its not all that ex. its like .. $129 ??? or something along that line. adidas have very suspectable prices for their shoes. so yes.
I WANT IT. its green and white.
watched
pulse. good movie man. seriously. good.
freaked the hell outta her. and i was busy worrying if she was going to scream the very next minute.
which was great entertainment. buah ha ha. headed back after which.
tomorrow is
friday.i am cooking macaroni and cheese.
with that
perfect recipe i found yesterday.
can't wait.
kaaye\.- and the world stops ;
with you.
memories locked at Thursday, September 14, 2006
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
i have the
perfect recipe for macaroni and cheese. and i am currently referring to the one that
needs to be baked ; yada yada. not the one that is being cooked over the stove top. this is the
BAKED version people. its a little more troublesome. but i am sure that the
trouble will all pay off , cause its definately somehing nicer. visual and all. yada. so here goes the recipe.
=
roux sauce :butter.
flour.
( butter and flour to have the same weight)
warm milk.
good cheese like hard cheddar / parmesan / goganzola (spelling)
for the rest :cooked elbow macaroni.
finely chopped leeks.
cut white mushrooms.
ham / anything meaty or as preferred.
first , melt the butter.
then add in the flour.
stir uberly well. make sure there are no lumps.
or it'd ruin everything.add in warm milk.
one ladle at a time , until you get the consistentcy
as required.then
take it off the heat. add in about 1 - 2 handfuls of cheese.
till the consistentcy resembles that of melted ice cream.mix that to the already cooked macaroni.
add in the mushrooms ; leeks ; all the works.
place it in a baking tin.
sprinkle a
generous serving of parmesan.
place in oven for about ... 20 to 25 minutes at
180 degrees C. NOT degree F.AND YOU GET THE PERFECT MACARONI AND CHEESE. PERFECT I SAY !!!
=
if you think
my next motive is to turn my blog into some recipe book or website. you might be right. buah ha ha. i wil put recipes that i think are great.
italian based of course.
i can't cook chee na for the love of god. and i really don't know why.
its got to be my dad's fault. its the
influence and affulence thingy going on. heh. =))
i might be a boy. but
i love cooking. that doesn't make me gay. cooking is good. cause ,
its easier to win a girl's heart. buah ha ha.
just joking. i love cooking , especially when i have a sit in at my place. heh. ask
wenny , denyse , esther , krystal. they've been to my place. ask them about the food man !!!
especially
during christmas time !!! esther and denyse will definately be at my place. and
i hope so as well for this year. BEEF. hell. if you are celebrating christmas and there is no beef ...
you might as well not celebrate. beef is essential. beef is life. beef is everything.
you have to have BEEF. BEEF !!! god. can't do without it. but i don't want to kill so many cows. damn.
i hate this love and hate relationship. sadly ,
i still love beef.
of course ,
most of the time i am not cooking. its dad. but ...
i thought him how to cook risotto okay !!! if it weren't for me ... heh. love me and my ego please. i make great food too. its just that
i am lazy. and i love to eat already
COOKED food by dad. my cousins or italians compare restraunt italian food with their mum's.
i compare it to my dad's. =)) its ironic. but that's the way it is.
cooking is life.
at the next sit in ,
i'd cook. heh. so says dad.
when the sit in comes then say ,
it might be a total different story again. =))
kaaye\.- its perfect.
for now.
the turbulent seas have subsided.
please stay this way.
memories locked at Wednesday, September 13, 2006
my very good pro gay psychiatrist decided that it was time for
desperate measures. buah ha ha. not like i have not heard that line before. =)) he keeps saying that , and its getting a little stale.
'this is not quite something i have documented on you before , its getting serious'. OF COURSE ITS GETTING SERIOUS. or do you think i would pay
good money to sit in your very nice ... 3k chair ???
NO. for the love of god.
i mean even though he gives me super good candy like
GODIVA chocolates and gets me my usual coffee.
the way i love it everytime i am there ... doesn't mean the consultation is good. but for this case ,
he really is. here's the jist of the whole thing.
'i realise that this
incubus , of whom you speak
maybe back with vedetta. i would adivse you to
stay as far away from her as possible , but if you so decide to head back to where you have started before treatment ,
we might loose everything that we have progressed with lately. for that of your family , you have to realise that those you call family and those you call friends
are very much against this senseless realtionship you are having with the incubus.'
and then
the advice goes on. he refers to her as the incubus for one good reason ,
the name is as scary as it sounds. and it sends shivers down my back. yup. i spilt everything.
i have new drugs. SWEE AR. =)) an add on to my already ... 2 tablets a day drive. oh my gawd.
i feel like a psycho.so whatever it is , i made a list like how i was told.
about why i should never head back , or what she did against me. i hope its working. everytime i think about her , i have to read that piece of paper. its got to work.
ITS GOT TO WORK.
tomorrow is thursday ... which means , i have to head back there. for another day of boxers. damn. then friday is to
XIAO LING'S PLACE !!! with wei wei. =)) and saturday is with
bro and dee. like what the fuck man.
give me a more perfect week. without you.kaaye\.- it doesn't matter.
cause i give in.
memories locked at Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
听说你最近很孤单
有点乱有点慌
可是我却不能够在你的身旁
你想要的
我却不能够给你我全部
我能给的
却又不是你想要拥有的
我们不适合也不想认输
好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭
你常解释这样的一切都只是开始
我觉得是所有的一切早就已结束
不想再约束
不要再痛苦
=
i don't know what state of mind i am in. but
i don't feel good. tears are about to erupt from my eyes. for some
sick minded person who doesn't even think that my pressence on earth is the
least bit important ; for that matter.
and all the screw ups i am facing. with that of the fucking navy pay rool.
my vulnerability to loose her anytime of the day. and with friends , i can't meet up with cause they are busy. and
i don't blame them.
actually i blame myself.for all the world's misery has to be put on
someone's shoulders as blame. for the easiest reason ... for that , if there ain't someone taking the blame then ...
we all don't feel good. don't we. it makes us
feel better or at the upper end
if someone takes the blame and responsibility for certain matters we all don't ever want to think twice of. i blame myself for being so vulnerable and letting her in. i blame myself for being over reliant on certain friends. i blame myself for causing people to be
baffled. i blame myself for not being able to plan properly. i blame myself for not being on the ball about the navy.
i blame myself for crying over nothing. i blame myself for not being able to understand the world. i blame myself for not being able to take the blame and for that , go psycho.
i blame myself for not being able to handle.i blame myself.=))
kaaye\.- i am not as important.
take and leave.
memories locked at Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Monday, September 11, 2006
i love bro's entry. buah ha ha. i realised something , if i didn't have people
breaking my heart , indirectly backstbbing me , some t
wo faced mother fuckers , people who are so contradicting ,(i take my hat off to them , cause the best part of it all here right ... is that , they don't think that they are being
hypocritical. which amazes me to a T. heh.) fucker who just want to have fun at your expense and those innocent ones who have to
bear with your anger ...
i don't think we will be what we are today.as strong ,
as intelligent ,
as cautious ,
as weary ,
as adpt ,
as on the go ,
as demanding ,
etc , etc.as we are all right now. and for that ...
I THANK ALL THE PEOPLE I HATE AND DETEST. cause you make me a better person for not doing anything to you.
may the guilt and the arogance of that , kill you. r.i.p. let this be the
point of redemption , i have never set eyes on. the only reason to which , i have never set my eyes on it ??? easy , i find no reason to ,
things all happen for a reason. good or bad , whether you count it as your blessings or not. it all happens for a fucking good reason. trust me ; reasons
don't have to make logical sense. just cause
they don't have to. and they answer to no one.
which explains everything. yes yes.
i don't know what i am doing. neither do i know where is this all heading to.
my medicine's working today. and i am feeling so much better. i seriously am. i miss the days where , i answer to no one ??? just did what
i liked. cause i knew , no one really bothered. no one really have two hoots about me. cause in that way , i can make myself to a sad sorry state ,
kill myself all over and maybe ... be some flying
smoking and drinking angel flying around the clouds in summer.
BUT.i thank god for the friends i have made along the way. those like
the -ing's. i love you guys more then life in itself. the times i cried my eyes out. the times i squeeked over the phone cause
some girl sent me a sms that touched my heart. the times we hung out. the times we did nothing but cooked and slakced at bro's place. the times , i was so close to
seeing death. i saw you guys ,
you guys helped pave a safe way , right beside yours.i thank god for those friends of mine in poly. muah
tingtong clique. you make everything much easier. and the world looking a
little less complicated. the hour lunches , we
indulge ourselves in every day in school. the times i wanted to cry. and when i did , you guys supplied me
TONS of tissue and guidance. helped me shun away from that
petrifying incubus , i dread to lay my eyes on.
i thank you guys for understanding.
for being there.
for not letting the friendship die.
for always putting effort.
for always caring for one another.
for the stupid things that make me wonder ; HOW STUPID I CAN GET.
for making the memories ,
and to the ones that are yet to be made.this is how close i hold you guys to my heart.
don't break it.i trust each and everyone of you. of which i rarely give to people i don't count as a close friend like you guys.
i love you'll. each and everyone of you.fat ; skinny ; ugly ; tall ; short.
cause it all don't matter.i love you for who you are ; not what you might be.=))
kaaye\.- i'm fighting the relapse.
not cause of you.
memories locked at Monday, September 11, 2006
Sunday, September 10, 2006
went down town.
was supposed to stay home.she told me she was
alone.she ended up with friends.
and apparently ,
i have a huge problem.
crowds are not my thing.i
was okay with groups of people.
now,
i ...
i don't know.
i saw.
i went down town.
i wanted to leave.so badly.i wanted to leave.
hung around for ...
40 mins plus.
headed to boat quay.
to meet her
other friend with wei ye.
maybe its just me ???
i don't like crowds.and i don't like hanging around with people ,
i don't know.
and am
not comfy with.blame it on me ,
for being
unsocialble.its my fault.my head's spining.
i think ...
i think i have a condition.my appointment's moved to tuesday.
i wonder what its going to be this time.
dad thinks
its a relapse.let's
hope it isn't.
its one step closer to my grave.
kaaye\.- its life or death.
memories locked at Sunday, September 10, 2006
Saturday, September 09, 2006
想要把你忘记真的好难.
思念的痛在我心里纠缠.
朝朝暮暮的期盼.
永远没有答案.
为何当初你选择一刀两段.
听你说声爱我真的好难.
曾经说过的话风吹云散.
站在天平的两端.
一样的为难.
唯一的答案.
爱一个人好难.
=
brawled my eyes out.
i'm still feeling the same.
someone help me.
i want to get out of here.
let everything pass me by.
let me take things in its course.
just like how i used to.
why can't everything be normal.
its just me.
am i right ???
its just me.
for the love of god.
give me back my sanity.
where are you when i need you.
you told me ,
you promised me.
that you'd be there.
rain or shine.
winter or summer.
you'd be there.
where are you now.
when i need you so.
i don't want anyone else.
you're never there.
i am sorry you fail to comprehend.
that i wasn't feeling well last night.
i am sorry you fail to understand.
that i wasn't in the mood to head out.
i am sorry you fail to construe.
that i wasn't in the right frame of mind.
i am sorry you fail to try understand.
that i wasn't all right.
i am sorry you fail to understand.
its my fault.
kaaye\.
memories locked at Saturday, September 09, 2006
i am having cynical thoughts about suicide. ask me !!! i am planning the perfect suicide. i am suicidal at the moment. when everything is supposedly perfect in a sense. i have everything i think i need. but i am suicidal. i have gone quiet in the house. my pills are not working. my fingers are trembling like no one's business. i have been taking precaution for this. something is bubbling under. i don't know the cause of it. its eating me inside out. i don't know what. the cuts heal. but the pain remains. i don't know why. everything is going wrong. i am planning the perfect suicide. of taking a kitchen knife , plunge it through my heart. give it a little twist. and into paradise i come. oh my fucking god. someone educate me. someone educate me that it is wrong. i have been falling away from the urge to cut. tonight's the submission of it. i can't stop. the blood's
not stopping. i tried. i really did. trust me. i really did try to curb the urge. i tried to stop cutting. i tried. its not working. my prozac and synflex are all not working. i've taken my medicine on time. i really really have. i just can't find a reason to why. i don't know what i am running away from. and i don't know why i am. its the miracles your mind plays with you. i think i am under depression. again. what do you think ??? i tried to curb it. its still happening. why ain't my medicine working. why !!! i don't get it. i don't get it.tell me here. help me here.why is this alway shappening to me. do i deserve it that badly. why. someone help me. i don't know what is going wrong. i don't need company. i just need something to cure this disease. i am sick.
i don't want to talk. i don't want to speak. i don't want to listen. i don't want to hear. just get me out of this place. would someone do that. please. i don't want to be here. i don't want to be here. kaaye\.
- the feel's not there.what is.
memories locked at Saturday, September 09, 2006
Friday, September 08, 2006
dont' suspect. don't plead. don't expect. don't suspect. don't deserve. don't intend.
don't hope. don't forget. don't fogive. don't blame. don't worry. don't bitch. don't underestimate.
don't hope. don't aspire. don't doubt. don't lie. don't regret. don't think. don't wonder.
don't hope. don't want. don't give. don't take. don't keep. don't withhold. don't communicate.
don't hope. don't scold. don't laugh. don't smile. don't slacken. don't wish. don't need.
don't hope. don't cry. don't feed. don't sum. don't addup. don't run. don't hide.
don't hope. don't fall. don't listen. don't talk. don't go. don't free. don't clean.
don't hope. don't wipe. don't let. don't hire. don't tire. don't walk. don't say.
don't hope. don't forecast. don't sign. don't read. don't come. don't start. don't consent. don't yell.
don't hope. don't hope. don't hope. don't hope. don't hope. don't hope. don't hope.
don't hope.
don't ever hope.
don't bother to hope.
don't want to even hope.
don't have to start to hope.don't.
=
WENNY YEO, I MISS YOU TERRIBLY.
COME BACK SOON.
OR I'D GO NUTS ; DARLING.
okay. i totally need to address an issue. everyone is tired , everyone is busy , everyone is all tied up and everyone if going bonkers. because of school work , people , work or all of the above. whichever it is , effort needs to be made.
i am sick and tired of listening to 'i am sorry , i tried'. don't tell me. i don't want to know anymore. its so irritating , when like its being used again and again. oh my god. how many times does the same excuse stand for. i am busy too. i have things to get done. though i might be the one who is most 'free'. everyone has their things to get done. but everyone is making effort.
don't say things that are not worth its weight in gold. i mean every word i type in a single sms , in a single call or in this single blog entry. sometimes when things are being said and repeated too many times it gets suspicious and at the same time its getting SO MONOTANOUS. for the love of god.
having no time to meet is ; poor time management. if you can go to wala. why can't you meet us. don't tell me its at night. its the weakest excuse. don't tell me you went to school. cause from what i know you didn't. don't tell me you have to study for your examS. when you clearly stated you got BARRED. FROM ALL OF THEM.
you said you were busy. but not too busy to meet that group of guys. what is this ??? they are your friends too , i know. but ain't we. we've been your friends since god knows when , and its the littlest things that we keep in mind. do remember that. everything needs maintainence. and i don't see why the 3 of us should always been giving in, in the sense that you don't. what , new friends = more important. old friends = can leave neglected for awhile. for the love of god.
sms-es and calls don't sustain friendships. not in our sense. what ever happened. we're understanding. but everything has got its limit. welcome to it.
excuses galore.
so ... er , what's next on the menu ???
lies.
=))
we love you. but this ???
its unaccpetable.
kaaye\.- its never been.
and its never going to be.
memories locked at Friday, September 08, 2006
Thursday, September 07, 2006
there isn't much to say anymore.
i feel like i can't ;
wait a minute.
think about it this way.
i don't think i was ever there to begin with.really.i don't think that i was there to begin with.
don't come telling me.i had enough.i have been at it the whole day.
thinking , thinking and thinking it over again.
and not to mention ; again.there is nothing i can get done.
not anymore to this extent.
to think yesterday ,
i wanted to make you mine.today's emotions ride me like a tidal wave.
heading towards something we all call
destruction.i can't find a reason to stay.my heart's wandering in circles.ever since.
your words mean so much ;
but
its stake is so much less.my head's already exhausted its very last brain cell.
nothing's going to make this facade ;
change into it real form.i've tried so hard.my defences always fall.
with no avil.
its as easy as snapping your fingers.
its been such the whole day.
i can't think of anything more.
i can't think of anything less.cause from day one ,
i've been thinking about you.
till god did me part for that split second.and for the very next and that so after ...
everything went down hill.into my darkness i fell.i swore never to go back there again.
i broke every single thing that i said i stood for.
i broke everything.kaaye\.- don't tell me sweet incubus.
just be off ;
just like how you once did.
memories locked at Thursday, September 07, 2006
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
你不懂我的那些憔悴.
是你永远不曾过的体会
为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解.
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切.你又狠狠逼退我的防备.
静静关上门来默数我的泪.
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会.
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天.直到那一天你会发现.
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲.
为什么你总让我憔悴.别说我的眼泪你无所谓.
看我流泪你头也不回.哭过了泪干了心变成灰.
我想要的美你还不想给.伤了的我的心怎去面对.
爱给了你我不后悔.只希望你给我一次机会.
让我去追让我去飞.
毕竟爱过的心需要安慰.
需要你安慰.=
yes yes.
king kaaye has finally given in to the chee na bug. i was surfing
'baidu'. which explains the top lyrics. change it to
'encrypt simplified chinese'. than yeah ... you'd be able to see everything. and to think i looked down on chinese songs last time.
oh my god. i am such a chinese fanatic. and this is getting suckier. damn it.
never mind. i think i am going to help
dee's mummeh at work.
from tomorrow onwards. i have yet to get the comfirmation from her. so ... we'd just wait and see. will be working
till the 15th i think. yuppers. from the
god forbidden time of 9 till 6 in the evening. ... but it ain't all that bad ,
i get paid. instant cash. eh ... its in town !!!
pacific plaza to be exact. so yeah.
PLEASE FIND TIME TO MEET ME IN TOWN FOR MY LUNCH BREAK. or i'd be bored to DEATH. god damn it. if not ... if not i am going to start chanting
'peng you hen nan zhao'. ha ha. =)) you know i know can already yeah !!!??? so meet me or
DIE. heh.
its wednesday. its ladies night. my australian cousins are in town. and its
LADIES NIGHT. heh. going to be clubbing later on. can't wait. oh my gawd. i tell you.
it better be fun. hue should be there. along with mel onggy. heh. =)) i owe her one. and i think we are heading down to like ... mambo along with devils. yuppers. can't wait.
clubbing = kaaye.
mambo jumbo = kaaye.
drinking = kaaye.and there is nothign more i can say !!!
=))
kaaye\.- tell me once and for all ;
where is this heading.
memories locked at Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
ever felt like its going to slip.
its going to slip right back where it all started.like that itchy scratchy feeling ;
right before trepidation seeps in to.right under your skin.
you can see it all happening.
but your body still gives in to the incubus.just like ever before.and all you do ,
is sit and watch.
'is the incubus a friend or is she a foe,
this time.
what is she ???'you start to question your
little mindless brain.and then you sit there ...
all
perplexed and bemused like before.questions unanswered.
and what can you do about it ???
everything ,
that you know will kill you.but you don't.
you just sit and watch.
as usual.so now you start to think.
this time for once ;
with the mind of a sense - full person.you sit and ponder.
is this what you really want.cause
the rest is history.and you are about to make more history.
with it being called the past in the next minute.
what now.leave this mindless frame of mind.
and maybe ;
answers might somehow befall. give me a sign or something.i need someone to show me the light.
memories locked at Tuesday, September 05, 2006
okay one issue to get over and done with first. you know how everyone and everything goes by ... what is right and what is somehow not ???
i like to question my dear readers ... its all about what and how you compare it with and what.
right ??? see right , the thing here is that ... if you compare a nerd and a punk. obviously
the punk would be at fault. somehow.the punk will be at fault. if you
compare a player ...
and a person who believes in honouring realtionships , but somehow wants to have 2 for a moment in time. then my dearest readers , this person will no longer be at fault. i mean ... its only one time. and
its trivial and small when compared , to like the player. am i right or am i right.
tell me i am right. =
with that being said ; let's continue with my original script of my blog. heh. thing here goes is that ... i went over to
miss c's place early this morning. after cooking for my stupid sister and my whole entire family at like 9 in the morning.
i am not joking. at that god forbidden hour when everyone of you guys were sleeping i was awake
slaving over the stove top. =))
i cooked carrot cake !!! KP.
my gram gave me the THUMBS UP !!! looks like i can somehow cook chee na food too !!! =))
i am officially happy. *beams in utter delight. so yeah. headed down to sengkang. and i
SPECIFICALLY told her i was coming. and she ... upon my arrival at sengkang. was still
happily fast asleep on her bed.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT ... ???i end up sleeping the moment i was at her place. heh heh. sleeping is way
too tempting of a hobby for me. seriously. i flopped unto the bed and dream land ... here i come !!! awoke to lunch of chicken rice and macdonald's.
swee ar. watched theLword on my laapy. then headed ot bishan.
she left for her appointment and i left for dinner !!!
beef is what i had. and what i always so love. i cannot live without
BEEF. tell me la.
ITS RED HALF COOKED / HALF RAW BEAUTIFUL BEEF. its like food from the god's or something. walked around with my little sister ... then headed home.
after a hell lot of cookies from famous amos. dear navy ; when am i going to get paid.your soilder needs shopping therapy.
kaaye\.- do you ever wonder ;
how hard you hit.
to break my thunder.
memories locked at Tuesday, September 05, 2006