Sunday, April 29, 2007
everything said and done.
but nothing known.into your arms i fall.but nothing known.
never liked the feeling ;oh , i never will.
there is something incomplete.but nothing is shown.
into your eyes i see ;
but nothing falls short but endless nightmares.of the time i fell unknowingly.
comfortable is not a feeling that is close enough to hand.but nothing is felt.
=
its monday. oh man.
i loved the morning. banana came over to redhill to send me to school !!! can you believe it ???
and considering she stays a million miles away and everything ... oh my god. whichever it was , we came to school ; had breakfast and everything then she went off. i went to class. its A&P.
no i am not enjoying it the least bit.
cause i am fucking tired and drained out.had lunch with
krystal and leisha. oh my tian. i so feel like smoking. but ... i guess i just have to resist.
BUT RESISTENCE IS FUTILE ; IS IT NOT ??? kill me now.
kill me now. gawd. whichever it is ...
krys and i want to have a stay in movie night. and
we can't wait. =)) and of course we talked about stuffs.
old ; new ; concurrent. you know how everyone of us has this particular person for us. like ...
your someone. that someone is someone ...
you cannot forget or even think other than this particular person.
whenever you feel loved ,
that person's image comes to mind. no i am not talking about your current bf/gf. but ...
someone. it
might be your bf/gf. but ... its usually not the attache. do you ???
THAT SOMEONE.i know who my someone is. do you ???
its scary. but its all so true.
we ain't alone in the whole entire process. everyone has a someone.
who we cannot forget. cannot forgive. always reminisce. always long for. but the problem here is that
you don't quite know if it is ... more of longing and super strong liking that you want the person.
or do you really want the person back. what would you do then.kaaye\.- what you might hear and know.might not be what i feel.
memories locked at Sunday, April 29, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
the sweetest of sweet ;
the brightest of lights ;
the darkest of nights.
they can't fight the memories.those of forlorn.
for they are all long gone.that battle fought ;
lost.doesn't ring a bell no more.
=
okay. its thursday.
i hate thursdays. i am getting moody.i think i am going to hit the sack.
BYE BYE FUCKERS.kaaye\.- i tried to remember who i used to be.nothing came close.
memories locked at Thursday, April 26, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
HOW NOW BROWN COW !!!oh my god.
i am seriously bothered.i got the call form levis. now the problem is that ... i don't know if i can actually work there case like
i am under bond and everything else like that ... not to mention ... they have like cpf contributions which would then in turn ...
NOT ALLOW ME TO WORK AT ALL AND SO ON !!! argh.
i am so messed up right now i can eat apples. -.-''
never mind. i am using my beloved gf's computer and
i am not going to complain ... because
i actully think that it works perfectly fine ..
most of the time that is. =)) heh heh. and not to mention ...
i hate school ... i have been hating schol since it
stopped and prevents me from doing things that i want to do like ... SEEING MY GF !!! argh.
going to meet esther later.
and i can't wait to transform into an uncle. in 3 seconds flat. ALWAYS. =) heh heh. need to go get apples too. buah ha ha.
kaaye\.- mosquito ; i love.
memories locked at Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
i don't like today.not like i have liked any other day.ARGUMENTS ARE ON TOP PRIORITY.i find them all so
'fun'.i am ... number ... 4.
count wei , zj and gil.
i am number 4.'the best' is such an
understatement.i never liked life.so why make it today.i am going to take my anxiety pills.
and see the world in colour.like normal people.kaaye\.- count all the stars ;till i die.
memories locked at Monday, April 23, 2007
Sunday, April 22, 2007
its been 3 years close.there are still tears ;trickling down my nose.
lost are the days of summer and bloom ;
everything that is left ,
is but gore and gloom.nothing comes close enough to you.and far away you have ran.
cause tomorrow never came.my regret was that i loved too late.with little unknow.
and even less to hold on to.still the date we held once persists.
in my memory you'd thrive.like those in the past and those never coming.
its been 3 years close ;
with tears still trickling down my nose.
no ; you will never know.not now.not ever.kaaye\.- still i feel all alone.
memories locked at Sunday, April 22, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
i officially hate this. today is the 4th day of school. and
yours truly is SICK. oh my tian. i tell you ... i hate being sick.
my head's opening its own disco - tech ; my stupid nose is clogged ; my throat is giving way to sand paper ; not forgetting my joints hurt. i think i am getting old. as in very very old. oh my tian.
hate being sick. and now ...
staying at home makes me feel worse. cause i feel like i am dying even faster staying at home.
i rather be out.
half alive then at home.waiting to die.woke up to an empty house. (like what is new) i am so so bored. just called esther and she might or might not be able to meet me. help.
i am so so bored. i want to die and
the blinking weather is not helping a single bit. its so humid i just wish i could melt and die.
banana came over during her lunch break. =))
which made me very very happy. took panadols but then
they didn't work. i even took 3 of the panadol extras. but ...
NOT WORKING !!! damn it. anyways ... made her a sandwich then slacked a little then she left. oh my tian.
i miss her already.okay.
i am officially bored.i need something to play with.god damned it.
kaaye\.- i love it when you call.
memories locked at Wednesday, April 18, 2007
If I had castles built on high.
I'd find a million ways.
to write your name.
Against the sky.
Just to let you know,
you've caught my eye.
And if I had more than.
wealth could buy.
I'd sell it all and start again.
for just a chance with you.
Girl, I'd give my all to win your love.
And I would be rich.
And I would build all.
my world around you.
Just to show you.
How you take my breath away.
And you would find love, sweet lady.
Nobody else this side of heaven knows.
How you take my breath away.
If I could turn the day to night.
If I ahd faith to walk on water.
Maybe you would see,
the reason I thank God for miracles.
Cause baby when you walked into sight.
You turned an ordinary man like me into a king.
I would do anything to win your love
=
oh yes. school is starting. wait ... its already started and its endless rampage is having very very bad adverse effects on me. for one ... its sucky. and for 2 its comsuming so much of my precious time that i don't know what i am doing anymore. oh my tian. i am telling you ... i so just wish to die. here and now. oh my god. HELP.
went for my fyp today. isn't that bad. better then i had expected. but then i was late. couldn't get my fat arse up in the morning. and then ... erm ... what else ... went for the levi's interview. i don't know if i can actually get it. the woman seems so cold and everything else. oh my god. i hope i can get the job though. i need it.
and most importantly ;
I WANT IT !!!
by the way ; i miss my banana.
and i hate her.
cause she makes me miss her.
THIS BADLY.
i hate banana.
-.-''
i know i am contradicting.
SO !!!???
kaaye\.
- this welcome is gone ;
and i have waited long enough.
memories locked at Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
this is official.
school sucks. even though for the first 2 days they were like teaching science and everything else. it still sucks. oh my god. i am telling you my brain juices are
dry dry dry dry.
so dry ... the sahara can't even come close to it. oh my god.
HELP !!!i was cupcake distributor today.
buah ha ha.
they said my cupcakes were nice. =)) YEAH !!!
okay.
i am off to pick BANANA up.loves.
kaaye\.- red bull can't give me wings.
memories locked at Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Sunday, April 15, 2007
fuck you.fuck me.fuck everything.this is what happens when you get sick and tired.
OF ALWAYS BEING SICK AND TIRED.there is
no such thing as resurrection or anything of that sorts.
save it.
keep it.do what you must.cause its going to be thrown away.at the end of the day.enough of this monotanous thing.kaaye\.- such a fool boy.
memories locked at Sunday, April 15, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
HAPPY NUMBER 3 baby !!!=))
its the third one.
and hopefuly more an more to come.i love you as always.even though ;
you ...
- don't cap botles.- eat like there is a war.- give me the look even when i didn't do anything wrong.- etc ; etc ; etc.whichever it is.
i love you.*hugs.
its now only ...
9 mths short of a year.kaaye\.- you made me feel.
memories locked at Thursday, April 12, 2007
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
you know how it is ... when sometimes you hear ...
'there are certain things in life ; no matter how hard to try to get / get back ... you'd never get it back.' does it some how ring some shitty bell or something ???
well ... let me tell you this.
FROM VERY GOOD EXPERIENCE - sadly ; its true. so true ... i
t burns your arse along with mine. ha ha. but back to the subject , its true. once you miss the opportunity and everything else , its gone.
*kapeesh !!! GONE.
disappeared into thin air ;vapourized ;just went missing ;
eternally. then sometimes ...
you have it. but never appreciated it. AH - HA. that is the one that
haunts and is so daunting ...
you'd live to regret. oh ... i am speaking from experience remember ?! its true.
you'd live with it haunting your existence. so people. when you think of doing something ...
weigh the pros and cons. do everything ; research the pros and then the cons.
then think about it again. don't live to regret.
it'd be too late by then.kaaye\.- its a place i have never been ;but it seems so familiar.
memories locked at Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Monday, April 09, 2007
people. i am in love with the motorola E6 !!! argh !!! i want i want i want !!!
god please drop some money upon me.
=
Here we are.
In the arms of one another.
And we still go on searching for each other.
Knowing that hate is wrong.
And love is right.
For us tonight.
When I look into your Spanish eyes.
I know the reason why I am alive.
And the world is so beautiful tonight.
It's a place I've never been. And it comes from deep within.
And it's telling me.
That I'm about to win first prize.
Knowing all I have to do.
Is reach out my hand to you.
Anytime I want to look into your Spanish eyes.
Let it be if we're nothing more than dreamers.
Who believe that we see no one between us.
How can they be in my heart.
And in my mind.
When all I can find.
When I look into your Spanish eyes.
I know the reason why I am alive.
And the world is so beautiful tonight.
=
okay. went to sch today for fyp. oh my tian. i tell you ... i can just sleep. oh my tian. but then what to do ... ITS STUPID FINAL YEAR PROJECT !!! never mind about that ... BANANA CAME OVER !!! ha ha. had lunch in sch and i was fucking hungry for some shitty reason. then like ... we had western and i had an extra like nasi padang. heh heh. 2 plates of food !!! shiok-ers.
went down to like amk to like get my banana's hair cut. she looks so cute now. heh heh. =)) not like she didnt look cute before !!! ha ha. then like ... yeah. went for dinner at a damn cold jappy place. then came back home !!!
watch the L word and like ... yeah. shiok. slacked. and then like ... yeah. she went back. and WA LA I AM ONLINE.
kaaye\.
- it never was fortold.
memories locked at Monday, April 09, 2007
Sunday, April 08, 2007
thursday.there were
damn good things happening on thurday.
BUT ALSO THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE.banana got into an accident cause of ;
yours sincere-ly.went to the zoo in the day with
bro and dee. saw so many animals and trust me ... they are the
most unglam things on earth. they just poop when ever and where ever they want to. oh my tian. and the weather was so hot ...
my polar bear wasn't white and fluffy. *cries. it was black. cause .. little did i know ... polar bears have
BLACK SKIN !!! ARGH !!! never mind.
i loved the otters too. reminded me of
jong. heh heh. =))
bro and denyse stayed over. we went to play not long after. pretty fun. but then ... the initial part was cocked up because ...
it was so fucking crowded no one could get naything donw and it really irritated the fuck out of me
i wanted to kill myself. NEVER MIND. music was great. company was great.then came the arguement. I AM SO FUCKING SORRY.and the rest ...
you ask and i'd tell.friday.spent most of the time with
banana , bro and dee. made breakfast for bro and dee before banana came over. they left not long after. leaving banana and i. then ... i cooked for her and ... off we went to tiong. bought dessert and went to see the doctors. then ... yeah. went back to my place. had dinner. dad cooked. and ... not long after ... she went back and ...
TO LALALAND WE WENT. =))
saturday.she came over after gym. =)) hung around. went to marina square. walked around. had dinner at kenny roger's. ... walked. went to town. got tickets for
'meet the robinsons' at ceni. went to heeren for a little shopping. then back to ceni. then ... okay.
the rest is for me to know.and you to eventually find out.ITS NOT GOOD.my heart aches every single time i think about it. cause its my fault and i never should have put her in that
stupid situation that even myself can't take and i had to put her into it. i made her cry.
( ohyes. so much for kiss the girls and ... NOT making them CRY !!!) sorry is just not enough.sunday.went to town with family.
went to bugis.
family went home.met banana.took neos.
went home.
she went for dinner.
kaaye\.- i never knew ;it would hurt that much.
memories locked at Sunday, April 08, 2007
Monday, April 02, 2007
you know when
day light turns into darkness. its not a really nice thing.
especially when you have so much you have been holding on to. and especially when they start to line your every thought. and when like ... well ...
everything suddenly reminds you of someone or something or some event that you have
kept so close to your heart that its a
little difficult not to be bothered by it.
its not like its something small and insignificant. its something so big. you really wonder what you got yourself into and why can't you just let it go.
its so easy to say it. so why can't you just let it go.
right ???
so why can't i just let it go.god damned it.fuck everything.
kaaye\.- its so close to home.
memories locked at Monday, April 02, 2007
Sunday, April 01, 2007
If you keep on taking.
My heart you'll be breaking.
So why do you do this to me?
You know how I'm feeling.
It's you I believe in.
Baby can't you see that I need you?
Everyday reminisce about the past.
Of a love that we thought would last.
How we used to be when it was you and me.
How did it all disappear so fast.
There are days that I can't forget.
There are things that I now regret.
I was there for you when you were there for me.
And I was thinkin' we were set.
Every night when I'm laying in my bed.
I hear your voice going round in my head.
Think of all the things I could have done and ...
All those things I could have said.
I really will make it up to you.
I know now what I've got to do.
It took time but now I've realised how much I'm missing you.
=
today is sunday.tomorrow is going to be monday and also the start of everything. everything as in
EVERYTHING. tomorrow is the start of my
so called training. training as in ...
getting buffed or at least try to before like ... starting school and everything else. my tian. its such a dread but then ... come to think about it right ... its like ... a good thing. i get to like get my body back in shape and all that nonsense and also ...
i will get a nice tan. i think. at least. i think.
went out with my parents today. went to like isetan for lunch with dad , mum and little sissy. walked around and then
i showed my mother my pretty tea cup i bought with banana last night. heh heh. =))
i hope she gets me more. ha ha. heh. then we walked around isetan. ...
went off to meet banana. at suntec and everything. got like alot of grocerries. =)) and
i am going to cook for my banana tomorrow. woo wee ...
that's that.
and i am hungry.AGAIN.kaaye\.- closer to me.
memories locked at Sunday, April 01, 2007
memories locked at Sunday, April 01, 2007