Sunday, May 21, 2006
i don't know why.
my tears are rooling my cheecks as i type this entry.
i just read bro's testimonial to me.
i am not the type that would cry easily.
not to mention cry.
i don't know why the tears are even rooling down my cheeks.
al this while.
i have been happy with it just flowing inwardly.
with the strong front and all.
and the best part is.
i don't know what i am crying about.
i am just so sick and tired.
of always believing in someone else's promise.
they make it so easily.
with all the body language and everything.
at that certain point in time.
that they mean every single word of that promise that they just made to you.
i used to believe in people's promises until ...
i couldn't.
no more.
friends ; family ; other girls.
they don't work for me.
just like they could have.
and should have.
i have lost trust in people.
don't blame me for it.
they let me down over and over again.
to the extent that i can't bring myself to believe.
not even in what they say that they will do.
for me.
or for anyone.
and it sucks not being able to try trust anyone.
it really does.
and then when they break their promises.
they say ...
i have my reasons.
its not whether they still perform their promised task.
its the principle behind the matter.
that everything i hoped to get.
hoped to see.
its all washed down.
its the principle behind the matter.
not the matter itself.
i don't know anything.
or anyone anymore.
i hate this life i life in.
and the best part of the whole thing.
i cannot do anything about trying to change it.
flashbacks are not helping.
they just make it worse.
i am not ilussional.
i am not.
so tell me.
how.
kaye\.
- crying is merely ;
a sign of human weakness.
i don't want to be human.
memories locked at Sunday, May 21, 2006
