Monday, July 17, 2006
i used to stand so tall. i will always remember that , till that very grim day. i'd never forget. at least not in this life time. the whole world i build ,
came crumbling down like donimo titles. one right after the other. at that very moment in time , i knew.
i knew i was never going to be the same person again.the dips were attached inside me. the women in white uniform , pleasing my every need.
no i am not in a brothel. i am in a place called the hospital. you know that feeling where by you can somehow actually see yourself in that bed. in that particular position. whereby you are
so helpless. you are left to fend for yourself.
and you don't have that power to do so.
the
images of her. flooding your head like its never had. your tears flow like a running river. you heart just stopped at that very moment when she said
'i think its better if we went our separate ways'. you'd never forget that feeling , that
instantaneous invisible slap across your face that awoke you to reality.
a quarter million endorphines will never be its cure. given those
unforseen circumstances. you couldn't do anything. you couldn't get anything done right. and yet you sit and watch yourself do so.
stopping the whole cycle never came as a option. at least cause you never made it one to begin with. you feel
so tired. you give into the wants and demands of the world and what people expect of you. how they judge and pass you the death sentence before even reviewing your case to begin with. imagine you awake everyday with weary eyes on looking you.
watching your every move. awaiting for a mistake to occur so that , they have a fight to pick with you.imagine that very sight. if you can. cause i know for sure.
no one ever can.
so i stand here again.
hoping and doing all i can. to fend this incubus off. to get my head tilted up high again. to make sure.
my heart doesn't lie in a chest full of thorns for all eternity. to make sure , i caution me against myself. tell me that i'm not in it alone.
kaaye\.- i want to be the first to go.
don't take me along.
i'd rather.
memories locked at Monday, July 17, 2006
