Monday, September 18, 2006
i am not going to be
suicidal. but , there have been
images that swam through my head like that of soilders running through the forests. they attack , swift , hard , impactful and unforgiving. and with no avil , they make you weak to your knees every time they hit.
i have been having images run through my head. like no one's business.
of a knife no more then 20cm in length , that of a kitchen one piercing through my heart. with someone
giving me that pierced knife a little twist to make the impact felt and known. and
i can see myself. my eyes wide opened , hands holding unto that knife.
something is going wrong. i don't see myself being suicidal. i don't feel the least bit. but ...
why do i get these images flooding through my head like its no one's business ??? its actually
draining me. i didn't take my tablet this morning , that was cause i was at her place. and
i thought it would be fine. but something is going wrong now. cause i don't feel fine. and not to mention ...
i used to. she was the natural prozac.
its wrong. something is definately wrong.god's no more listening. he's definately given up hope on me.
i've given up hope on myself. trust me. i have.
its tiring. i see myself dying ??? is it going to be like a de ja vu or something ??? cause if it is ... then ,
when. =
let's have this example.
person A - who's a girl.
person B - who's a guy.
person C - who's also a guy.A and B spend the night together at A's place. for the fact that
B missed A. easy.
spent the whole day with A. then went for dinner with A. Person A then calls B to watch a movie. but B can't. so person A called person C.
who is A's ex. B's starting to
feel wierd. cause for one thing is that , B has seen this hapening
too many times. for an example , B's only been called by A cause maybe ... and most likely ,
A has got no one to head out with or nothing to do. which is why B is always so sort after.
B is also A's ex. but their story has not ended.
and like a never ending story ... there are never ending troubles. and B's stupid. cause B never knows what he is doing. ever. and as a stupid idiot. B's just going with the invisible flow.
being stupid. B's starting to think that ,
A's loose. if you are smart enough.
you can put names to that of the persons. if not. than ... well ... its better off that way as well. heh.
ignorance is bliss my dear readers. so yes. its
ALWAYS HAPPENING. is it just B. or is it the truth.
kaaye\.- i want to break you down so badly.
to make you see.
how broken i am.
memories locked at Monday, September 18, 2006
