Monday, October 23, 2006
the box is packed.
the packed aligned.everything is finally put to where it should somehow rightfully be ;
but i am not ready.i don't know what i am waiting for. its all packed and ready to leave. the box full of the things
i once so treasured. and frankly , speaking i still do. but who's to care anyway , everything is gone and salvaging it is like
having sand run through your fingers. it is as it is.
it is as rough and raw as it can get. everything is packed. its just a matter of time. i want the things out of my house. asap. what is the rush ??? i don't know.
i just want them out of my house and ... for them to turn into something i knew all so long before , and yet can't put a label to them. for all the wrong things , i feel. for all the wrong things.
4 hours of crying and wailing is enough. puffed eyes be gone. its going to be a year. take a break.
BREATHE kaye. BREATHE. and even if you don't ... force yourself to. i don't know what is real and what is fiction no more ... its getting into a bigger mess than what i first thought it was.
i don't know anymore and its freaking the hell out of me. its four hours of maddness that brought about the tiny eyes and little energy for anything that dealt with everything that i loved today. the box taunts. you know what i mean. even thou they are just sitting there in my room. the things inside
invade a memory that needs to be erased.its not helping.
=
you know when you told me , you would wait for me. i believed your every word. cause when i turned back all i saw was your back facing me. your eyes and ears were no more mine. they had already belonged to someone else. but then why did you fish me like a fish on a line. reeling it in and letting it go whenever and where ever you please. i am going to stand up on my own. cause your promises were all and evrything futile i am sorry for being such an arse. i gave you everything i could ; forsaken everything that i could. and to no avial. nothing ever happens.kaaye\.- if giving up was a good thing.
i wouldn't be like this.
memories locked at Monday, October 23, 2006
