never saw it coming.
i should have started running.

Monday, December 25, 2006
note to self : stop crying.

wayne is in hospital. and i can't stop crying. it was my fault for going to like clubbing and neglecting him for 5 hours. it was my fault i didn't do my part to look after him. it was all my fault. i wanted to be the best daddy. but i couldn't control myself. i went clubbing till the wee hours in the morning. trust me i worried for wayne ; every single minute that i was at mos last night. maybe it was me. but i knew ... hospital was the way to go. right from last night. before i left.

my freaking dad only told me about his conditions this afternoon before the movie we were going to watch started. i cried my eyes out from before the movie ; till after the movie ; till we got home to get wayne ; even when we were on the way to the hospital ; and even in the inpecting room. oh yes. 3 days and i am crying so much. i don't know why.

and then now wayne has to stay in the hospital. in that little stainless steel cubicle. which i hate seeing him in. i love him. more then i thought i even did.

when i looked at him. i swear today ... the only thing i can think of was nothing. tears couldn't stop flowing. cause i knew he was going to stay at the hospital. i didn't and i stil don't like the idea of him at the hospital.

i can still remember bringing him home for the first time. with that little naughty face and that pointy tail. sniffing every where. wanting everything to bite. as long as its something = bite. i miss watching cars go pass with him. and waking up in the middle of the night to only hear him cry. my heart is bleeding for him.

i hope he gets better. cause i cannot think of anything but him and i going to do so many things together. i already miss having the feeling that i know that in the middle of the night he is going to cry and that i would have to wake up and stroke him to sleep. in the living room. and then wind up sleeping along with him. with him ending up in the same position as me. then the playing of water when he bathes.

in short - I MISS HIM.

no.
i have not loved something so intensely in 3 days like this.
not ever.
NEVER EVER.
i am home with an empty kennel.
not like you would know how i feel.


kaaye\.


- wayne. daddy wants you back.
daddy wants you back.

all about me;
kaaye\. 19years.
22nd november 1987.
overgrown kid.
taken.
my sanity's long gone.



likes\.
hanging out with my friends ; ALOT.
nice tasting alcohol in general ; erdinger ; mojito ; moet or blessed vc.
trance ; house ; rock ; alternative ; punk ; metal ; bossa nova / jazz.
new gadgets.
baking ; cupcakes and all.
shiny stuff.
the sun , the sand , the water = THE BEACH !!!
slacking like there is no such thing as time.



dislikes\.
the people i hate are all irritating !!!
horrid people ; with appalling characters.
people with horrid manners.
insects and such.
bad weather.
headaches ; ankle sprains.
BAD COFFEE !!!
greens.



wish list\.
that calculator casio watch.
that pair of rock and republic pants.
that perfect messenger bag.
that new PDA !!!
that new laptop.
that pair of adidas shoe-wees.
that pair of tiger shoe-wees.
that new jacket.
that nike haversack.
that new tops from pull and bear.
that new pair of jeans.
that flesh imp top.
that head porter bag.
that pair of lacoste shoe-wees.

shoutouts.

plugs.


credits.
blogskins greene_sprit host

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