never saw it coming.
i should have started running.

Sunday, December 10, 2006






in life and death we are all alone.
we are all alone. be it in the day out with friends or with your very own parents. we are all alone. in life and death we are. we all are. till the day i depart from this earth my smiles are feighed ; the tears sequencial ; the emotions all mirror what is inside. no one understands. the cuts on my hands they don't tell the whole story. what is inside is worse. if only you could see part of it. i am no indifferent from anyone. i want to be normal.

i really want to be normal.
i want to be normal again.
to know how it feels like to have the sun shine and tann your skin.
i want to know how it feels like to be alive again.
to know that tomorrow will be tomorrow and it would be something so much more interesting than you ever thought of. i want to feel normal again. to know that , 'hey ... bad stuff onlylasts for a sec. and the next everything would be fine'. you know i want to feel 'normal' so fucking badly. its not like i want to be like this. i don't want to be like this. you think i am happy like this. you think i want to be depressed. you think i want to have to dream about feeling happy ? you think i do ? I WANT TO BE HAPPY. i don't want to dream about it.

everyone thinks i have a condition. everyone thinks that i am mad. everyone thinks that , she is 'sick'. no you do not understand. i am not mad. i am not insane. you all think i cut to crave the attention. of which you do not understand ... no one understands. i am not sick. i am not fucking sick. i just cannot control. there is a fucking differenence.

i am not sick.

don't misunderstand me.
i am not sick.

there it was. my grandfather was nagging and practically ringing at my ear. saying his theories on how insane i am and how bad company i have. what so ever. there i am trying to control everything. evverything inside ... it almost popped. i tried calling out for my father. i called 3 times. on the 3rd he told me , 'this is what i feel. this is what i feel.' and left.

everything is gone.
i am.


kaaye\.


- no on understands.
so why bother trying.
everything is gone.
now move along.

all about me;
kaaye\. 19years.
22nd november 1987.
overgrown kid.
taken.
my sanity's long gone.



likes\.
hanging out with my friends ; ALOT.
nice tasting alcohol in general ; erdinger ; mojito ; moet or blessed vc.
trance ; house ; rock ; alternative ; punk ; metal ; bossa nova / jazz.
new gadgets.
baking ; cupcakes and all.
shiny stuff.
the sun , the sand , the water = THE BEACH !!!
slacking like there is no such thing as time.



dislikes\.
the people i hate are all irritating !!!
horrid people ; with appalling characters.
people with horrid manners.
insects and such.
bad weather.
headaches ; ankle sprains.
BAD COFFEE !!!
greens.



wish list\.
that calculator casio watch.
that pair of rock and republic pants.
that perfect messenger bag.
that new PDA !!!
that new laptop.
that pair of adidas shoe-wees.
that pair of tiger shoe-wees.
that new jacket.
that nike haversack.
that new tops from pull and bear.
that new pair of jeans.
that flesh imp top.
that head porter bag.
that pair of lacoste shoe-wees.

shoutouts.

plugs.


credits.
blogskins greene_sprit host

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