Sunday, February 04, 2007
because you are mine ;i walk the line.i find it very very easy to be true.i find myself alone , when each day is through.beause you are mine ;i walk the line.the night is dark and the day is light.i keep you warm both day and night.=
those eyes that never shed a tear.
its not like you would know how much terror i am living with. its become my soulmate.
its become something i can't live without and i can't live with. its come to a point where by
i think i give up. i don't like arguing.
i don't like being in this state. what makes you think that :
- i like to cut myself.- i like to have to stop myself from doing things.- i like to see people cry for me.- i like to take pills to stay sane.- i like to smoke.- i like to drink.- i like to make people worry.- i like to stay like this.- i like to go to my shrink.- i like to go into one of my many crazy fits.- i like to go insane.- i like to be 'like this'.you think i like to be like this.
which part of me is so difficult to understand. am i doing everything wrong.
am i doing everything all so wrong that you can't even bare to turn your eyes on me. that one look at me would hit you so bad
that you would die , for even trying to do so.
i don't understand it. is it so hard to make it a point to say hi and everything else. its so hard to be alive and not be wanted.correction : wanted by your own father.i am in this little fight
since i was young. what people don't understand ; behind all my smiles and everything my family 'so -called' gives ...
do they know the tears and the cries that line each and every smile and laughter. no ; relationship problems
are not the worst that can happen to one's life.
ITS FAMILY PROBLEMS. everything you do ; everything you see ; everything that you thought you knew ;
everything is just but a mere lie.no one can imagine.
no one can even come close to thinking and feeling what i am feeling and thinking now. cause no one would be able to understand. i have to keep sane for the sake of
those who i hold close to my heart. my mother asked me ;
'why do you treat your friends and you take them more seriously than that of your own family'. i have but one answer ...
'when i needed anyone to hold me before i fall down ; where you there??'kaaye\.- enough of this world ;laughing behind my back ,and grinding there teeth.
memories locked at Sunday, February 04, 2007
