Thursday, February 22, 2007
you know.
i can still remember the day that i first cried my eyes out so hard for my girlfriend. not too long ago. around ...
2 years back ? or something along those lines.
reason to which : her family found out that she wasn't like normal girls. she didn't like guys like normal girls did. she preferred girls.
not as friends. but of something of a higher level.
oh ... i can still remember that day.
when i cried so hard. i didn't know how to stop.
every single thought of her lead me to more tears after tears. its not so hard to imagine. but yes ,
it was the first time i cried for someone. i was on the verge of
loosing her in a fashion i didn't expect come hit me. it was my first time. my very first time feeling someone's grip
slowly slipping away. that feeling ,
is horrid. its
beyond anything that i had ever experienced or ever will.that feeling till now , for me.
its worse then heart break. its worse then breaking up. its the forcefulness. its the ... unwillingness of both parties who don't want to let go. who still love each other but are being torn apart ;
relationship tested in ways the heart has no say to. i frankly ; hate and abhor that feeling so much ... i try to bury it. but it
resurfaces everytime something of such happens.=
oh ... just like clock work.
the whole history is repeating itself. no i am not complaining why i have to be in such shit. but more of ...
i don't think what is happening now is fair for anyone. i don't know.
i don't like my relationship getting tested. i don't like it. i don't like having to pounce on every single reply.
cause you don't know when the next one is going to come. i don't like having of thinking of living alone. no ... i don't.
but , there is nothing i can do.kaaye\.- why do we push love away.
memories locked at Thursday, February 22, 2007
